The Zoo - Kewl Style!

The Kewl girls, Sammi, Mary Poppins and I went to the zoo yesterday! I am still not quite sure why we paid to go to a zoo, when we pretty much live in one, but as the youngest member of the Kewl family will tell you - "Sammi turned old!" - so we thought we'd better indulge her a bit.

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When we arrived, the first thing Miss F spotted was the merchandise shop that you exit through. She squealed with excitement and asked, "Mummy! Can we go shopping?! Please?!"
I explained about the shop being the exit from the zoo, and that shopping would take place at the end of the day, once we'd seen all the animals. So naturally, the rest of her day went something like this...

"After we've seen the elephants, then are we going shopping?"

"After we've seen the crocodiles, then are we going shopping?"

"After we've seen the koalas, then are we going shopping?"

"After we've seen the tigers, then are we going shopping?"

And the killer, "We can see all of these animals in the shop you know - they have photos and toys and puzzles and everything."

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Miss J was not at all interested in the shops. She was instead, obsessed with taking photos - which would have been a great way to learn about the animals - had it have been the animals she was interested in taking photos of. But oh no, my little home learner spent the entire day taking photos of signs.
Her favourite being this one...


I was pretty impressed by one of the few images that were not signage...


Me, "Kewl turtle pic, Miss J! I love the pattern the water makes."
Miss J, "It's not a turtle, mum."
Me, "Are you sure? It really looks like one..."
Miss J, "No. It's the pool filter."
Me, "Oh. So it is."

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Miss V, at least, did not appear to be obsessed by anything in particular as we wandered around looking at the animals. Although, after asking her what her favourite part of the day was, I'm not so sure...

"The strawberries!"


"And the fruit salad!"


Fabulous.

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The Kewl girls did show some interest in a couple of animals...

Miss F, "Look mum! There's you!"


Miss V, "Sammi, what are those kangaroos doing?"
Me, "Sammi, do NOT answer that."


Hmm.. Now that I think about it, maybe it was best not to focus too much on the animals!

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So, our trip to the zoo turned out to be less about the animals and more about the adventure, but honestly, that's exactly how we like it.

I Learned Something

So, we are a home learning family. I always planned to give the girls the option of home learning, and when I could no longer find a day care option I was happy with, we simply made home learning an option a little earlier than I had planned.
Now, the girls are happy, and I'm happy, we have loads of fun and the girls are not getting less intelligent, so we remain a proud home learning family.
As such, we are seen as slightly unconventional (which suits me fine!), and as slightly unconventional and unschooled children, you would expect their favourite pass times to be similarly unconventional, yes?

Er, not so.
The Kewl girls' favourite game at present, is "Schools". (Yes that's right - My unschooled children love playing schools. So what?!)

This morning, Miss J was being teacher. Her class of three (me included) sat before her and she gave her good morning speech....

Miss J, "Good morning class..." [expectant pause] "You've got to say good morning back!"

Miss F, Miss V and myself, "Good morning Miss J."

Miss J, "Good. I mean OK. Umm... Today we are going to learn about farts! I will demonstrate!"

[insert demonstration]

And this, I believe, is where Miss J took her unconventional badge and stuck it proudly on her forehead....

Miss V, "Eww! Miss J you farted!"

Miss J, "Na ah - I learned something!"

Class dismissed!!!

Sale

We had to go to the shops yesterday to get the Kewl girls a new t-shirt each. I don't particularly enjoy shopping and the girls don't particularly need new t-shirts, but last week we learned about "bets", and of course, being all about 'practical learning' I made a bet with Miss F...
I said, "I bet it will rain only 2 days this week, and she said, "I bet it will rain every day this week."

Apparently the weather God's like Miss F better.

It rained everyday and Miss F won a shopping trip worth a new t-shirt of her choosing for her and her sisters. To be honest, I was actually quite happy about Miss F's choice of betting stakes - Not the shopping part, but the part where she wanted to choose something for her sister's, too!

So yesterday we wandered into Miss F's favourite clothes shop, Miss F on a mission and leading the way, Miss J, Miss V and I happy to hang back and leave the expert to it.
Naturally, Miss F selected the most gorgeous and most expensive top in the entire world store for herself. (But it's not about the money, right?!) She then proceeded to hold various garments up to Miss J, making comments like, "No, this colour does nothing for your eyes," and, "Oh yuck, this cut is less than flattering," before finally selecting, "A rather elegant vest in a brilliant shade of aquamarine, because it makes her eyes look spectac-li-ar!"

Great! Two down, one to go.

Now, Miss J is quite used to her sister's rather, er - strong - passion for fashion. She is usually quite happy to let Miss F take hold of the reins and steer her toward particular clothing choices, and long as she can choose her own accessories, she is happy.
Miss V, however, is not quite so open to her big sister's 'direction' (well OK - Miss V likes what she likes and couldn't care less about Miss F's 'fashionable' opinion), so Miss F wanting to choose a shirt for her little sister was a lot like taking a recipe for disaster, throwing all the ingredients into a container and shaking it.

Violently.

From the first shirt Miss F pulled off the rack, Miss V was determined to exercise her vocabulary of 'negative connotations'. Unless of course, Miss F didn't like something, in which case Miss V thought it was simply divine.
After about 20 minutes of conflicting opinions and Miss F trying in vain to make her sister surrender to her obviously superior knowledge, taste and overall supremeness find something they both liked - Miss F was over it.

She looked at her sister, then looked at me, then looked back at her sister, then looked back at me, sighed, and said, "You know, sometimes I just can't believe she's actually related to me."

Oh dear.

Just as I was about to attempt an intervention, Miss V pointed to a t-shirt on a manaquin and exclaimed, "Oh kewl! I want that one!!!"

To my complete astonishment, Miss F looked at the t-shirt for a moment, before a huge grin spread across her face and, matching her little sister's enthusiasm, she exclaimed, "Oh! It's perfect!!!"

To my dismay, this was shortly followed by, "And you can stand in our window when we get home!"

You see, Miss V didn't point to just any t-shirt... She pointed to the bright red one, with big, bold, white writing on the front...

The one advertising, "SALE - 25% OFF!"

And I'm almost certain that if she had been allowed, Miss F would have put her sister in the window, sold her to the highest (ie, first) bidder, and used the money to go shopping.

*Sigh*

You know, sometimes I just can't believe she's actually related to me...

Read My Lips

Our friend Sammi has become somewhat of a permanent fixture in the Kewl family unit. Ever since the Freak Fest ended and we said goodbye to Baby Warrior, Sammi and her girlfriend Mary Poppins (our once nanny now great friend) have been living with us.
I have known Sammi for 10+ years and I love her dearly - but as a house guest, I have to be honest - she's pretty shocking. She leaves her undies from one end of the house to the other, can't wash dishes to save herself, would rather starve than set foot in a kitchen, stirs the girls up at the most disruptive times possible, is demanding, bossy, more stubborn than the three Kewl girls put together and is constantly finding new ways to annoy the *bleep* out of "hearing people".

Did I mention that I love her dearly? ... I know - Go figure!!!

Another thing about Sammi is that she speaks with her hands. Literally, I mean. Sammi is deaf and uses AusLan (Australian Sign Language) to communicate. She doesn't speak verbal English, but she silently mouths words as she is signing, she can read lips and write about a million words per second!! Her deafness is just one part of who she is though, and by no means does it define her.

As a diverse ability advocate myself, one of the reasons why I keep Sammi around is so the Kewl girls can benefit from her diversity. Lucky for Sammi (she ate the last of my chocolate yesterday and was very nearly thrown out of the house immediately!!), the Kewl girls are benefitting from her presence in even more ways than I imagined they would.

Upon adopting Aunty Sammi, one of our favourite expressions became, "Read my lips!"... Because, well - she does.. And the Kewl girls find statements of the obvious absolutely, hysterically funny. I found it quite amusing myself! I also quite enjoyed being able to mouth things to Sammi without actually speaking them, and so being able to have 'adult' conversations with the girls in the room. Kewl, right?

Well, yes - but this is where the 'diversity benefit' comes in.

Yesterday, Mary Poppins and I were talking when Miss J came over to sit with us. Mary wanted to say a filthy swear word something adult, so she covered Miss J's ears and finished her sentence.

Miss J rolled her eyes, and said, "I can read lips, you know. And that's not a good word choice, Mary."

Woah.

Thinking that this was a fluke - more of an educated guess than a lip reading ability - I silently mouthed to Miss J, "Oh really?"

To which she replied, "Yes. Really."

Woah!

It's not just Miss J, either. Both of her sisters appear quite capable of reading lips - and I am absolutely blown away by it!!! They can all speak Sign well, but as I have used signs with them all of their lives this isn't really surprising. Lip reading though - that's a whole other story!

I always assumed that lip reading was a difficult skill, learned over a period of years, in a class room or 'speech therapy' setting. When I expressed my amazement to the girls and asked them how they'd learned to lip read, Miss F replied, "Oh mum! It's easy! Sammi does it all the time." This makes me think that maybe my assumption has a lot to do with why I am (as yet) unable to read lips!

To help the girls develop their lip reading abilities, Sammi suggested I speak the first part of a sentence (audibly) in order to give them a context to work from, then finish off mouthing the sentence (silently). We have been doing this with much success ever since!

Although I am a big believer in the Kewl girls' learning ability, I have to admit that my amazement played a trick on my mind and had me thinking that maybe the girls were really just very good at guessing. I decided to 'test' this thought this morning and in response, Miss V essentially threw it back in my face.

When it was time for breakfast, I said to her (audibly), "Miss V, could you come to the table please, (then silently) it's time for dinner."

She laughed and replied, "No mum, it's time for breakfast."

Then as an afterthought, she added, "You're not very good at lip speaking, are you mum?"

Touche, Miss V.

So, as much as Sammi did the unspeakable, and ate the last of my chocolate - in light of the most incredible ways in which she is enriching our lives - I think we'll keep her.

(But Sammi, if you ever put your hands near my chocolate again - read my lips woman - I know where you live.)

WELCOME TO OUR WORLD

The Kewl girls and I met some friends at the park today. Our friends are a lot like us - half hippies - because we're not quite normal and not quite feral! We are also both one parent families, home schoolers and advocates for "person first" thinking and living. Particularly relevant to this story is one other commonality... We are both big believers in the power of thought (part law of attraction, part positive thinking, part create your own reality, etc). These beliefs, I think, translate not just to a way of thinking, but more importantly, to a way of living. They also influence the way I parent and the thoughts, both conscious and otherwise, that I try to encourage in my girls.

Today at the park, the Kewl girls and their half hippie friends were playing with a ball and their half hippie mum and I were sitting on a bench not too far away. Another child, about 4 or 5, came over and joined in the ball game. Almost instantly it became obvious that this child did not have fabulous social skills. She did not quite grasp the concept of it being a group game, of passing the ball to others, of taking turns, or of anything much that would make our group of half hippie children want to continue playing with her. Sadly, after no more than 5 minutes, Miss J made an executive decision and said to the other child, "We feel annoyed when you keep hogging the ball because we all want a turn too and you won't share, so we don't want to play with you anymore."
Miss J then went and picked up the ball and began to walk away.

Now, I had been watching this scenario unfold and was tossing up whether I should intervene or not...
Did I need to encourage Miss J to share the ball and not exclude the child who was not part of 'her' group just because she wasn't behaving the way Miss J wanted her to?
On the other hand, Miss J had communicated very clearly why she did not want to play anymore and she had an excellent point - the other child was not sharing at all. Was it right to tell Miss J to share when the other child clearly was not?

I had pretty much decided to let it go for now and in 5 minutes or so, suggest to Miss J that she ask the other girl if she wanted to join in again.
Then the other girl ran up behind Miss J and shoved her in the back. Hard.

Uh oh.

As I was still making my way over, the other girl's mum arrived on the scene. She smacked her child on the hand and told her she was naughty for pushing Miss J over. Then when the child argued that Miss J wasn't playing with her or sharing her ball, her mum said to Miss J, "Well, you should share your toys, you know."
Miss J replied, "But I don't want to."
To which the other mum said, "Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do. It's called the real world, honey."
Immediately, Miss J responded with, "The real world is for people who can't imagine anything better." Then she picked up her ball and walked away.

To repeat - Uh oh.

As the other mum turned to me with a most outraged expression, my immediate reaction was to jump up and down and cheer Miss J for daring to imagine something better. Fortunately (or unfortunately), I am only half hippie so I restrained myself and was faced with a dilemma...
Should I call Miss J back and explain to her that the words she had chosen could potentially hurt other people's feelings and ask her to think of some different words?
Should I explain to the other mum that Miss J had tried to share but her and her daughter just seemed to clash?
Should I offer an apology, shrug my shoulders and walk away?

I was about to settle on a fairly non committal "Kids, hey." with a sincere smile, and hope for the best, but the other mum got in before me.

"You shouldn't let your children talk to other people like that," she said.
"Like what?" I asked.
"Don't you think she was rude?" *Insert accusatory point of finger*
Me, "Actually, I think she was upset after having someone hog her ball and push her in the back."
Other mum, "Well if you want your child to think she can walk away from anything she doesn't like that's your prerogative."
Me, "Yes it is."

Then I went to walk away and the woman shot after me, "Oh - I see where she gets it from. This is your solution is it? Walking away?"

Before I could stop myself, I replied, "Absolutely... I believe it's called, welcome to our world."

I wish I could say I didn't mean it... But you know what? I really did. Not the being offensive part - it was not my intention at all to pick a fight or attack another person. Nor is it my intention with this post to point the accusatory finger or criticise the other person.
What I would really like to do is ask you, what would you have done?

I still believe that I am part hippie, and that this also means I have not lost touch with more conventional ways of thinking. Essentially, I know I think a little differently to some, but I don't think I'm an ignorant hippie... Am I?

Would you have made your child share if they picked up their ball and went to walk away, as Miss J did?
Would you have made your child apologise if they said, "The real world is for people who can't imagine anything better," in response to another adult?
Would you have walked away from the other parent, as I did?

I would love to know - what would you have done?

The Meaning of Easter

Warning: Angry Mother Venting.

Dear Mrs. Cadbury*,
Thank you for taking the time these past weeks to speak with the three Kewl girls and share with them your knowledge of God and your religion, Christianity. I appreciate your patience in answering their multitude of questions, some of them not always, er, polite, and I am most grateful for your acceptance of their (and my) sometimes differing view points.
I would like to apologise for offending you by asking that you refrain from explaining to my children, the Christian meaning of Easter. I understand that to a person as committed to their religion as you are, this request is akin to calling the Easter Bunny 'Hoppin' Jesus' and worshipping his eggs.
What I do not understand, Mrs Cadbury, is just why you decided, in all your God given wisdom, that you knew better than I what my children need know or not know about Easter. Why, Mrs. Cadbury, did you feel it was your God given right to explain to one almost 3 year old and two 4 and a 1/2 year olds that (in short) Jesus rose from the dead?
Did you not think that just maybe, this might be a little confusing for three small children whose father is dead? Particularly with their father's birthday coinciding with Good Friday this year?
When you explained to them that Jesus was dead but then God brought him back to life, did the thought occur to you that this may lead three small children to believe that their father who died might also be brought back to life by this wonderful God you keep telling them about?

Mrs. Cadbury, did you think AT ALL about what you were telling my Kewl girls? Or why I might have asked you to refrain from explaining death and resurrection to them?

No?

I didn't think so.

But seeing as how you didn't mind telling the Kewl girls about your meaning of Easter anyway, you won't mind Mrs. Cadbury, if I send the three Kewl girls to you for comforting when they cannot understand why God will not bring their father back to life. You won't mind explaining to them that it's not that God doesn't love their father, it's just that.... Well, it's just that what, exactly?
And you won't mind explaining to one very determined 4 and a 1/2 year old, that she does not have to die so that her father will come back to life... Or to her distraught sister that God did not make her father die for her sins and she did not kill him by being naughty.

I know that you were only trying to give my children an appreciation and understanding of what Easter means to you, but Mrs. Cadbury, Easter means lots of different things to lots of different people. To some, it doesn't mean anything, and that's ok, too. To us, it was meant to be about celebrating family. It was meant to be a non event in our home, at least until the Kewl girls were old enough to understand it better.

Really, I think I have been very understanding, don't you, Mrs. Cadbury? So now you'll understand that your good intentions mean shit to me right now and consequently, you are not invited to our 12 o'clock worshipping of Hoppin' Jesus, the bunny who shits chocolate and promises not to kill or resurrect anyone.

Sincerely,
Angry Mother.

*Name has been changed for the purpose of maximum personal insult.

Please note: This is not an attack on religion. Just an expression of anger and an observation that sometimes doing good in the name of God is NOT GOOD.

And we do not believe in, nor worship Hoppin' Jesus the Easter bunny who shits chocolate.

Please check back tomorrow for the return of calm blue oceans.

Bless you indeed!

Miss V, "Mum, does sex give you a cold?"

Me, "No darling, why do you ask that?"

Miss V, "How come it makes you sneeze then?"

I would have made Mary Poppins answer, but she wet herself from laughing too hard.

Where, oh where, is the snooze button?

3am....
Miss V, "Mu-um, is it time to get up yet?"
Me, "So not even half way close, darling."

3:15am....
Miss V, "Mu-um, is the sun even close to getting up yet?"
Me, "No way, I say."

3:30am....
Miss V, "How about now, mum?..... Mum?"
Me, "How about some more sleep Miss V..."

3:45am.....
Miss V, "Mum! MUM LOOK! I see the sun!"
Me, "The sun is still sleeping Vay. Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeping."
Miss V, "I know. I was tricking."

4am....
Miss V, "Mu-um.... Mu-um.... Mu-um!"
Me, "Yeeeesssssss....."
Miss V, "Now is it almost close to getting up time?"
Me, "Noooooooo....."

4:10am....
Miss V, "Mummy... I love you. Can we get up now?"
Me, "I love you too. Go back to sleep."
Miss V, "Mum!"
Me, *snoring noises*

4:15am....
Miss V, "Mummy, I'm going to go and make you breakfast in bed until it bes time to get up, ok mum?"
Me, "Ok darling."

4:16am......
Miss V, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Me, *sprinting to the kitchen* "Miss V! What's wrong?"
Miss V, "There's..... *sob* ..... No...... *sob* ......... M-m-m-mmmmiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllllkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk........ WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Me, "We don't drink milk, Miss V...."
Miss V, "I know. I was just tricking."
Me, "Bed. Sleep. Now."
Miss V, "Try and use full sentences, mum. It's easier to understand you then...."

4:30am.....
Miss V, "Mum I really can see sun now! LOOK!"
Me, "Why don't you tell it a story about a sleepy possum and her sleepy mum?"
Miss V, "Naahhh. Why don't you get up?"
Me, "Ok. Let's get up."
Miss V, "No just you mum. Not me. I go be sleep now. Night mum."
Me, "Night Miss V." *Blissful relaxing sleepy wave just about to wash over me*

4:31am.....
Miss J, "Morning mum!"
Miss F, "Hi mum! It's time to get up now!"
Miss V, "Shhhh! I'm sleeping! Go be away now!"

.... And so, Miss J, Miss F and mummy went away to have a very wakeful morning while Miss V enjoyed a very restful sleep in.

That night, when mummy was very very tired and struggling to keep her head out of her dinner, Miss V offered her some advice....

"Mum? You look tired. Are you tired? I think you are tired mum. Mum? Do you think that maybe you are too tired now because you might not have maybe given yourself enough sleep last night? That is probably the reason, isn't it mum? So mum, do you think it would be a good idea to go to bed early tonight so you will be awake-er more tomorrow? You're boring when you're tired mum. You need more sleep so you be funny again. Go to bed early tonight mum. But not yet, you better do the dishes first. Ok mum?"

Ok, Miss V.

Shared learning - Best of

Miss V, "What are those birds doing?"
Miss J, "They're mating."
Miss V, "Are they friends?"
Miss J, "No they are having sex. Animal sex is called mating."
Miss V, "Do people have mating?"
Miss J, "No V, people have sex. Animals mate."
Miss V, "But why is it called different?"
Miss J, "Ummmm......................... Because people are sexier than animals."
Miss V, "Ohhhhhhh."

Warrior Wednesday

The two most important men in my life both left their bodies at 8:30pm on a Wednesday.
Sometimes this is a down right horrible thought and it turns my Wednesdays into crap days - but mostly it is comforting, because I believe in magic moments and I believe in their significance. Our little warrior could have died at any time, but he didn't. I like to think that when Zy died, Daddy Kewl was there waiting for him. Actually, I don't just like thinking this, I like knowing this.... It's significant.

The last few days I have pushed myself into blogging some of the moments from three other kewl and significant people. "Their lives deserve celebrating." I told myself... "You can't stop forward movement. It's time to move forward."

But to be honest, I'm struggling.

I love the moments I have to celebrate with my kewl girls, and I do not - for one second - underestimate their value. What I'm struggling with is the fourth kewl and significant child who's moments aren't being celebrated in the same way. Some are, sure - but to fully appreciate many of them, there is a need for details and history and explanation that is still too raw to blog about. So, while Zy is constantly present in my thoughts and in my heart - as every child is for every parent - his moments are missing from this "forward blogging movement".

Honestly? The thought of moving forward without Zy is totally and utterly terrifying. I know he will always be in my heart, and in the hearts of the people who love him... But there is still that niggling voice that screams it's bloody head off when I post about something other than him - something 'normal' - because even though he is constantly present in my heart, and the people close to us hold him in their hearts, what about the others? What about the people who don't know his story?
The thought that Zy is being left out is like a red hot iron being driven into my soul.
It hurts. And I don't like it.

So.... Instead of dwelling on it and feeling awful and not posting anything.... I am coming up with a solution. I'm going to make Wednesday each week "Warrior Wednesday" on the Kewl blog. This way I can be OK with blogging the every day moments, because I will know that Zy's moments are not being forgotten, overlooked or left out. It is also a clear and positive way of creating a balance between "now" moments, and those that are a little more reflective... A way to bring Zy with us on this whole forward movement thing.

Does this make sense?

Lol... Oh well. It is my plan, and it feels good.

As today is Wednesday, I have a couple of moments - one that I've wanted to share for a while, that didn't make it onto the Baby Blog because it happened in the midst of a whole lot of freaking chaos! And another that is a Baby Warrior and kewl girl moment from the 'now'.

The first happened while I was pregnant, and is a testament to just how big and FAT I got carrying Baby Warrior around in his overfilled water bed....
The kewl girls and I were at the park when, just for something different, I had to pee. Leaving the girls safely with our nanny, I made a fast waddle for the loo's. Then, satisfied that my bladder was no longer about to burst, I went to return to the kewlettes.

Errr... Not so fast....

I went to open the stall door and discovered it was stuck. Well, more to the point - I was stuck...
My belly was so big I could not get the door open wide enough to make my escape, and my baby brain was not about to come up with a solution any time soon.
After about 20 minutes of sitting in a public loo stall, half laughing, half crying, Mary Poppins finally came searching and was able to manoeuvre the door open... But only after another 20 minutes of hysterical laughter on her part.
(Reading back over this moment, I realise it may be one of those, "You had to be there" things, but hey - I was there and today it makes me smile.)

The next moment is from an inspired Miss J.

This morning her and her sisters were playing dress ups when Miss J gave up her high heels and fake fur to come and see me.

Miss J: "Mummy... We're hungry."

I asked her what she felt like to eat, and she replied, "Salt and vinegar chips."

Seemingly not such a special request, except that Miss J and her sisters all hate salt and vinegar chips and are not allowed to eat them anyway because of the gluten factor.

And that salt and vinegar chips were also one of the few things I craved, non stop, whilst pregnant with Baby Warrior.

Me: "Are you sure you want salt and vinegar chips?"

Miss J: "Yes, we do."

Me: "Your sisters too?"

Miss J: "Oh mum... *insert teenage style rolling of eyes* ... Me and Zy want salt and vinegar chips."

Of course.

Needless to say, we now have a cupboard full of salt and vinegar chips.

Friends

The kewl girls and I went to a Special Education School today. I had to drop in to pick up some equipment I left behind last time and the girls wanted to come too. We got there just before lunch and even though I did what I needed to do in 5 minutes, the kewl girls stayed and played happily with their friends all the way through lunch break and into the next lesson!

As we were leaving we bumped into Mrs. E, a teacher and ex colleague from the State School next door. We exchanged how are yous and then she turned her attention to the kewl girls.
Even though Mrs. E was the certified 'teacher' in the group, I think the kewl girls did most of the teaching in their conversation today...

Mrs. E: "Aren't you lucky girls, going to work with mum?"
Miss J: "We didn't go to work. We went to school."
Mrs. E: "Of course you did! Silly me! Do you like going to school with mum?"
Miss F: "Yes, it's fun."
Mrs. E: "How lovely. And do you play with the little disabled kiddies?"
Miss F: "No."
Mrs. E: "No?! Don't you play with any disabled children at special school?"
Miss J: "No."
Miss V: "No."
Mrs. E: "Well what do you do then?"

Miss V: "We play with our friends."

Miss F: "Yeah.. We play with our friends."

Of course. Silly Mrs. E.

Eau De Vomit

It's my new scent.

• 1 part Miss V
• 1 part Miss J
• 1 part Miss F
• 3 parts gastro

Hoping to tip the last bucket full down the drain very soon.
Until then, we will be keeping our distance!

Potato or Vagina?

A few days ago, Miss J, Miss F and I learnt about syllables. It wasn't a planned lesson, but when the word came up in conversation and they asked about it, it was a perfect teachable moment.

I explained the concept, then we "clapped out" their names and once they had a good understanding we moved onto fitting different words into songs.

We started with seven po-ta-toes (more!), then in our garden we grew seven tom-a-toes, seven pine-ap-ples, seven ba-na-nas, seven cu-cum-bers and seven dal-mat-ians (Whip the dalmatian was standing in the veggie patch).

Later, while all 3 kewl girls were playing with their babies, Miss J helped Miss V to count them. Upon discovering there were four babies, plus themselves makes seven, Miss J and Miss F came up with another version of the Potato Song...

"One vagina, two vagina, three vagina, four. Five vagina, six vagina, seven vagina, more!"

They spent all weekend singing it at the tops of their lungs - Including through the main street in town. Yesterday I heard no more vaginas and assumed they were past this particular craze.
I thought wrong.

Today at the park Miss V was playing with another young boy on the see-saw. He started singing, "Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up, horsey..." and Miss V joined in. When they were giddy enough, the boy asked if she knew the Potato Song and he sang, "One potato, two potato, three potato, four. Five potato, six potato, seven potato, more!" Adding in the accompanying hand gestures.

Miss V replied, "It's not po-ta-to! it's va-gi-na!"
Then she sang, "One vagina, two vagina, three vagina, four. Five vagina, six vagina, seven vagina, more!" Complete with Auslan signs and a Pip! and RAY! at the end.

I don't think the boy was quite ready for a dose of Miss V's girl power...
He ran away screaming.

Miss V - kewl girl that she is - just looked at me, shrugged her shoulders and said, "No more vaginas for him then."

Oh yeah! That's my girl!

One liners

Recently the kewl girls have come out with a few one liners that really have me wondering - Where do they get these things from?!

First, Miss J accidentally stepped on Miss V's soft toy. Miss V looked at her angrily and shouted, "You dirty rat!"

Next it was Miss J's turn...
Miss J likes to tease the dogs with her food. She does it frequently, and she is frequently left without her food, because three dogs are faster than one child.

Yesterday she held her biscuit out for Beezie.
Then she took it back again.
Then she held it out again.
Then she took it back again.
Then she held it out again.
Then she took it back again.
Then she held it out again.

Then Whip took it.
And he ate it.
And Miss J cried.

And through her tears she yelled, "You just wait, Whip! I'll get you! When you least expect it, I'll get yooouuuu!!!"

Points for her outstanding melodramatic delivery, but sheesh! She's 3 years old!

Then today... Today we had the one liner to end all one liners.

After breakfast I cleared the table and left the dishes in the sink for later. When Miss F walked past the kitchen she pointed to them and said, in her most patronising little voice, "They won't wash themselves, you know."

Then she put her hand on her hip, wagged her finger at me and added,

"A good wife knows her way around the kitchen, mum."

AARRGGHH!!!!
Where, where would she learn something like that?!?!?!?!?!?!
I mean - we don't have a television, the girls are home schooled, I am precious about the environments they are exposed to, for the most part our friends share the same "kid friendly" values and I certainly wouldn't say something that disgusting!!

You are super kewl and intelligent people - I know you are, I read your blogs - Can someone please tell me where they get these things from and how to make it stop?!

I love "No. Go. Tell."

We went to the local park today. We love our local park... There is a small playground there - with swings and a bouncy thing (to use the technical name) - There is also lots of open space to run and explore, a pond to admire and picnic tables to eat at.
It is a beautiful spot and it's not just children and families who appreciate it.

Today we were sharing the park with a young couple. They were sitting about 10 meters from us on a bench under a tree, trying to swallow each other very much enjoying each others company.
The kewl girls were playing on the swings and didn't notice the couple until they came over to the table for food. When Miss F spotted them she was not impressed...

Miss F, "HEY! That's a sexy touch!"
Me, "Yes it is, and those people are grown ups, aren't they?"
Miss F, "Ye-ah.."
Me, "It is OK for grown ups to be sexy like that, when they both want to."
Miss F, "Ye-ah. But that's private. That's a sexy touch."
Me, "You're right, Miss F. What do you think we should do?"
Miss F, "I think they should go to their room!"
Me, "That would be a great choice for them! What about us? What do we do if someone is being sexy in front of us and we don't want them to?"
Miss F put her hand up, traffic director style, and shouted, "NO!"
Me, "That's right! Then what?"
Miss F and Miss J started running on the spot and yelled, "GO!"
Me, "Yes! So what will we do now?"
Miss J, "Let's go!"
Me, "Hooray! Let's go!"

Then Miss V cracked it because she wasn't ready to leave, so we just moved to another table... But that is not the point.
The point is - The kewl girls recognised a sexy touch!!
They remembered that being sexy is private!!
We took action!!

We said NO!
Then we said, let's GO!
And when we were at a safer table, I asked the kewl girls to TELL me what had happened.

NO. GO. TELL.

Miss J has used NO GO TELL before, to keep herself safe at daycare.
We used it today, because we decided watching two people trying to swallow each other was not something we could swallow.

Some people may find our actions a little extreme - Moving tables just because a couple was kissing on a bench, 10 meters away.

You know what I find extreme?

The prevalence of child sexual abuse is said to be one in three.

I have three children.

While I do not live in fear, I refuse to live in ignorance, either.
I value self protection skills and we practice them all the time. Today was a perfect teachable moment and I am thrilled that the girls are applying the things we learn from books and games to real life situations.

Knowledge is power, and self protection is a power we should all have.

Yep. I love "No. Go. Tell."

Green

"Teeny Weeny Greeny McSeedy"

~ Sprout by Miss V - Our resident green thumb ~
~ Photograph by Miss F - Our resident "photo-grower" ~
~Title by Miss J - Our resident name "maker-upper-a"~
~ Post by Alison - for Photo Challenge day over at Mountaingirls Musings ~

I was kewl, once...

We had fried rice for dinner tonight and in the spirit of Bob Marley rewrites, I thought we could have a little fun with our meal. I bopped over to the table singing, "Get up! Stand up! Stand up for your rice! Get up! Stand up! Rice is really nice!"

I was greeted not by smiling, laughing, standing children - But by three blank stares.

I could have just sat down and pretended like nothing happened - But oh no - I had to go another round.
"Come on girls, sing with me! ... Get up, stand up! Stand up for your rice!"

Three blank stares.

Then Miss V rolled her eyes at me.

Then Miss J said, "That's not how it goes, mum."

Then Miss F said, "Ye-ah.. And you're not a'sposed to stand up when you're eating."

Yeah - Duh, mum!

Why?

Miss J:
Mummy? Why does the fridge light up but not the freezer?

Mummy? Why is the sun round? Why can't it be square instead?

Mummy? Why is the bubble bath stuff blue but the bubbles aren't?


Miss F:
Mummy? Why does that lady have a beard? Is she Santa Clause?

Mummy? Why does that man have breasts? Is he feeding a baby?

Mummy? Why do we have bones if they break?


Miss V:
Mummy? Why can't I have smarshmallows for breakfast?

Mummy? Why can't I have a penis?

Mummy? Why do clouds fly?

Mummy? Why did daddy die?

Mummy? Why doesn't he come back yet?

But mummy, why?

Bye bye, puppy dog

The girls and I took the dogs to the beach today and we made friends with another family who were out flying a kite. Their kids wanted to play with our dogs, and the girls wanted to play with their kite, so it was a perfect match!
After a while the kids decided to ditch us adults and make up their own games.
Miss J played leap frog with her new friend, Miss 6, and Miss F, Miss V and their new friend Mr 2 played puppy dogs.

When it was time to go our separate ways, Mr 2 tried to give Miss V a hug. Miss V put her hand up, meaning 'stop', and said "No thanks!".

Woohoo! Go Miss V! And Woohoo! A teachable moment!

I explained that hugs were for our family and for friends that we've met lots and lots of times before. Then I asked the girls what a good way of saying goodbye to a new friend was.

Miss V waved.

Miss J waved.

Miss F said, "Sniff their bum!"

Mum - 0
Puppy dog - 1

Shopping with Bob

Three somewhat random bits of information are needed to appreciate our moment this morning...
Firstly, I've rediscovered Bob Marley and had my favourite CD on pretty much non stop this week.
Secondly, we've recently been shopping for presents to share with friends when we go to Cairns next month.
Finally, our neighbours have just returned from a trip overseas and when they came over to catch up their 8 year old told us all about the wonders of duty free shopping.

On to the moment...
The kewl girls were playing shops this morning - Miss J was the attendant, Miss V was her lackey and Miss F was the customer.
Their shop wasn't fortunate enough to have a stereo system, so Miss F decided to make her own background music...

The happy customer grooved up and down the aisles singing, "I shop for sharing! But I do not shop in duty free... Oh no NO! .... They say they going to bring me big gifties... But what - I don't know! Do do do, do-do-do, do do do... HEY! I shop for sharing! But I do not shop in duty free... Oh no NO!"

I have to say, I'm with Miss F on this one - I'd much rather "shop for sharing" than "shoot the sheriff".
Sorry Bob!