Warning: Angry Mother Venting.
Dear Mrs. Cadbury*,
Thank you for taking the time these past weeks to speak with the three Kewl girls and share with them your knowledge of God and your religion, Christianity. I appreciate your patience in answering their multitude of questions, some of them not always, er, polite, and I am most grateful for your acceptance of their (and my) sometimes differing view points.
I would like to apologise for offending you by asking that you refrain from explaining to my children, the Christian meaning of Easter. I understand that to a person as committed to their religion as you are, this request is akin to calling the Easter Bunny 'Hoppin' Jesus' and worshipping his eggs.
What I do not understand, Mrs Cadbury, is just why you decided, in all your God given wisdom, that you knew better than I what my children need know or not know about Easter. Why, Mrs. Cadbury, did you feel it was your God given right to explain to one almost 3 year old and two 4 and a 1/2 year olds that (in short) Jesus rose from the dead?
Did you not think that just maybe, this might be a little confusing for three small children whose father is dead? Particularly with their father's birthday coinciding with Good Friday this year?
When you explained to them that Jesus was dead but then God brought him back to life, did the thought occur to you that this may lead three small children to believe that their father who died might also be brought back to life by this wonderful God you keep telling them about?
Mrs. Cadbury, did you think AT ALL about what you were telling my Kewl girls? Or why I might have asked you to refrain from explaining death and resurrection to them?
No?
I didn't think so.
But seeing as how you didn't mind telling the Kewl girls about your meaning of Easter anyway, you won't mind Mrs. Cadbury, if I send the three Kewl girls to you for comforting when they cannot understand why God will not bring their father back to life. You won't mind explaining to them that it's not that God doesn't love their father, it's just that.... Well, it's just that what, exactly?
And you won't mind explaining to one very determined 4 and a 1/2 year old, that she does not have to die so that her father will come back to life... Or to her distraught sister that God did not make her father die for her sins and she did not kill him by being naughty.
I know that you were only trying to give my children an appreciation and understanding of what Easter means to you, but Mrs. Cadbury, Easter means lots of different things to lots of different people. To some, it doesn't mean anything, and that's ok, too. To us, it was meant to be about celebrating family. It was meant to be a non event in our home, at least until the Kewl girls were old enough to understand it better.
Really, I think I have been very understanding, don't you, Mrs. Cadbury? So now you'll understand that your good intentions mean shit to me right now and consequently, you are not invited to our 12 o'clock worshipping of Hoppin' Jesus, the bunny who shits chocolate and promises not to kill or resurrect anyone.
Sincerely,
Angry Mother.
*Name has been changed for the purpose of maximum personal insult.
Please note: This is not an attack on religion. Just an expression of anger and an observation that sometimes doing good in the name of God is NOT GOOD.
And we do not believe in, nor worship Hoppin' Jesus the Easter bunny who shits chocolate.
Please check back tomorrow for the return of calm blue oceans.
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13 comments:
aye aye.......some people need a good smacking with a 2 x 4!!.....
shesshhhhhhh.Of all the people in the world she had to tell your kids...............oh my.........
I know it won't do any good..but I want to offer some hugs........
The use of Cadbury as a name confused me at first. I thought it was going to be an anger towards the chocolate company for letting chocolate commercialism overshadow Jesus.
I'm sorry this happened to you.
I get sick of Christianity shoved down my throat. I understand people mean well, but yeah. Now you'll have a lot to explain to your children and it's NOT fair that she put you into that position.
In my opinion, Easter and Passover are Pagan Spring holidays corrupted by monotheism. I think it's fine for Christian and Jews to interpret it in their own personal religious ways. But don't give the rest of us grief if we want it to be about family, fun, and chocolate.
Hey...and I love your "bunny who shits chocolate."
We worship the bunny shitting chocolate here too :)
I hope you truly gave this woman a dressing down. How dare she go against your wishes and create some big things for the Kewl Girls to dilemma about.
I certainly understand your outrage. In fact I'm outraged for you - let me at this Mrs Cadbury!
And we're the so called ignorant ones.
Huh.
Go figure.
You will turn this into a learning opportunity for them. I know.
It's what you Kewl rockers do.
xoxo
oh man I'd be furious!
I simply can not understand why some people are so threatened by people who believe, celebrate, think or do differently to them....
And why is it that some adults NEVER think about what they say before they open their mouths... take a moment and think about it from the child's point of view... grrr
ok going off into my own little vent now... but man I hope Mrs Cadbury got to hear that in real life too.. maybe next time she'll think first and shoot her mouth off later.
Blossom - Thanks for the hugs! It's good to know I'm not the only one who was outraged. It got to me more so because I specifically asked Mrs. Cadbury not to bring it up with the girls. Oh well. Living's for learning, right?
Dina - It did feel very unfair to be trying to comfort 3 very distraught little people. Mrs. Cadbury has been helping teach the girls about Christianity as part of their homeschooling.. She had been very understanding about my wanting them to have enough knowledge to make their own choice... Thought obviously not as understanding as I thought!
Lani - It's the fact that she has created such distress in the girls that gets me. Particularly when I was very clear about not wanting them to hear that story yet. Oh well - We have a chocolate shitting bunny... That's pretty kewl!
Sammi - You are the woman rocking the house down at the moment! Darling, I LOVE your positive spin. You are just on fire at the moment and I am so liking the new Sammi!!!
Kate - People really can do some strange things when their beliefs are threatened. I cannot understand how the three kewl girls proved such a threat to her that she had to cause such damage in order to preserve her sense of order. Grown ups, hey? So glad I'm not one!
Alison
Wow! Now that is a superb lesson of controlled fury. And no wonder! I too would be furious if anyone went against my direct wishes in relation to my children.
I'm curious if Mrs. Cadbury is reading this? Maybe, just maybe, she might be feeling a little guilty if she is?
Bunnies shitting chocolate? Please don't tell my little one this. They have about 10 real rabbits at her kindergarten and she loves chocolate.
so sorry your good friday and easter weekend turned out to be so full of heartache and confusion, instead rememberance and love. Hugs to you all, as you work through this.
What an extroardinarily spot-on example of how NOT to talk to kids about religion! I'm sorry it had to be your kids who had to be the vicitms of that demonstration. What a total idiot Ms Cadbury is. My child is lucky enough to have no idea what the loss of a loved one means, but when I explained to her the Chrisitian meaning of Easter (and the weird irony of the name Good Friday) I made very sure I stressed that the people who believe in this story say that the bringing back to life bit was a one-off, never to be repeated event. I remember once getting very annoyed when one of Ella's daycare friends told her that people who die come back to life. But I forgave him because he was only three. I did wonder what his parents were teaching him though. I cannot stand people telling kids such lies with the excuse that they are protecting them. It is such an insult to kids!
Ian - Controlled fury is a great term, and quite fitting. In this case, my anger kept me focussed on manage the situation for the kewl girls and answering their questions to the best of my ability - without getting lost in the grief.
LOL @ the bunnies at your little one's kindy. My lips are sealed!!
Shygirl - Thanks :-) The girls seem to be working through it ok. As Sammi said (above) it is a good opportunity for learning, even though I would rather it come about in a more gentle nature.
Lin - Exactly how not to talk about religion to kids!!! I was shocked that my own judgement was so off, too. I thought Mrs. Cadbury understood where I was coming from - but apparently not!
I agree also that telling kids straight out lies is such an insult. It is also incredibly unhelpful! If the kids are asking these questions in the first place, chances are they are ready for the information. Telling them 'feel good' lies just creates a huge fall and hard landing for them in the future when they realise what they thought was their reality actually isn't real.
Allison, I'm sorry that someone broke your confidence and went against your wishes in teaching your children something you don't believe in. That is NOT a Christian principle. I am a Christian and believe that each of us has the resposibility to teach our children what we believe and request that we all strive to be tolerant of those whose beliefs are different than our own, without condemnation of one another. I hope this woman can see her error and make ammends.
I love so much that you blog about and hope you won't condemn all Christians because of those who might be over zealous and step over boundaries they should not.
Enjoy your Easter Bunny Chocolates with the Kewl Girls. They are precious. And I, somehow didn't have any Easter Chocolate this year! I just realized that! [But, then, I was without any family (until my husband came home in the afternoon from a trip) this Easter--the first time ever in my life, I believe! That was a bit different!]
Spring is a wonderful thing with everything coming back to life and giving us great joy! The flowers here have been amazing and prolific here. I guess you're probably having Fall, rather, aren't you? I love fall, too. Actually all the seasons. Anyway, hugs to you all.
Your Kewl girls are precious. I guess it sounds like I was saying chocolate is precious. Well . . . maybe? But that wasn't what I meant!
Hi PW!
Haven't seen you around for a while - am about to head on over to see what's been happening in your world :-)
It wasn't so much about teaching the girls something a I or don't believe in - I want the girls to have enough education about ALL religions to make their own choices - it was the going against my wishes and creating so much disharmony in the process.
I certainly don't equate one person's actions with a whole religion being wrong. I really hope that was clear.
I love the seasons here. We are coming into cooler weather now.
And I think chocolate is VERY VERY precious!!! hehehe.
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