I love "No. Go. Tell."

We went to the local park today. We love our local park... There is a small playground there - with swings and a bouncy thing (to use the technical name) - There is also lots of open space to run and explore, a pond to admire and picnic tables to eat at.
It is a beautiful spot and it's not just children and families who appreciate it.

Today we were sharing the park with a young couple. They were sitting about 10 meters from us on a bench under a tree, trying to swallow each other very much enjoying each others company.
The kewl girls were playing on the swings and didn't notice the couple until they came over to the table for food. When Miss F spotted them she was not impressed...

Miss F, "HEY! That's a sexy touch!"
Me, "Yes it is, and those people are grown ups, aren't they?"
Miss F, "Ye-ah.."
Me, "It is OK for grown ups to be sexy like that, when they both want to."
Miss F, "Ye-ah. But that's private. That's a sexy touch."
Me, "You're right, Miss F. What do you think we should do?"
Miss F, "I think they should go to their room!"
Me, "That would be a great choice for them! What about us? What do we do if someone is being sexy in front of us and we don't want them to?"
Miss F put her hand up, traffic director style, and shouted, "NO!"
Me, "That's right! Then what?"
Miss F and Miss J started running on the spot and yelled, "GO!"
Me, "Yes! So what will we do now?"
Miss J, "Let's go!"
Me, "Hooray! Let's go!"

Then Miss V cracked it because she wasn't ready to leave, so we just moved to another table... But that is not the point.
The point is - The kewl girls recognised a sexy touch!!
They remembered that being sexy is private!!
We took action!!

We said NO!
Then we said, let's GO!
And when we were at a safer table, I asked the kewl girls to TELL me what had happened.

NO. GO. TELL.

Miss J has used NO GO TELL before, to keep herself safe at daycare.
We used it today, because we decided watching two people trying to swallow each other was not something we could swallow.

Some people may find our actions a little extreme - Moving tables just because a couple was kissing on a bench, 10 meters away.

You know what I find extreme?

The prevalence of child sexual abuse is said to be one in three.

I have three children.

While I do not live in fear, I refuse to live in ignorance, either.
I value self protection skills and we practice them all the time. Today was a perfect teachable moment and I am thrilled that the girls are applying the things we learn from books and games to real life situations.

Knowledge is power, and self protection is a power we should all have.

Yep. I love "No. Go. Tell."

12 comments:

debby said...

You're doing a wonderful job teaching the concept, and reinforcing that teaching. I'm impressed with that, very much.

rhubarbwhine said...

Written just like a proud mama would, too. Well done :)

Anonymous said...

You my friend, are one in a million.
Right on Kewl ladies- keep far away from those boy germs! Eeeew!
Love Sammi xo

M+B said...

I agree with Debby, your teaching style is very impressive. GO. TELL those girls they're sooooo KEWL

Alison said...

Thanks Debby :-) The kewl girls are wonderful learners! I am very excited that what we're doing is working, thanks for your encouragement.

Rhubarb - Fanx! I am very proud. It was a nice little parenting ego boost, too. I think I needed it after the week we've had! lol

Sammi - I like your stats! Boy germs, huh... Nothin' but trouble..

M+B - We did have a pretty kewl teachable moment :-) My teaching style isn't always impressive though.. lol!

Megan from Imaginif said...

We're back, we're back, we're back. Typing is the most sexy touch in the world and I love it :)and I will do it in my room as much as I possibly can. How I have missed my keyboard.

Good to see some kewl protection has been continuing. NO, GO, TELL - keep it up kelwies. Soon we'll change schoolies week to kewlies week.

Mxxxxxxxxx

katef said...

I think this is awesome.
I don't think there is a problem with anyone kissing in public but I also don't think your taught your girls that there was. You taught them what is and isn't appropriate behaviour for them right now (sexy touches - love the term!) and that if and when they feel uncomfortable about something, anything, it is OK to do something about it! That is the kind of empowerment that I want for my children.... though I wish I had your brains on how to teach it!
Off to read more about this on your blog now!

tiff said...

Good for you!

It's a very important lesson.

Alison said...

Woohoo! Welcome back, Megan! Gosh we missed you!
Kewlies week... Has a very nice ring to it, I think...

Kate - You're right, there isn't really anything wrong with people kissing in public, but it is never OK for people to be sexy in front of us if we don't want them to.
Megan and the Imaginif blog is a fabulous place to learn more about teaching our kids to be safe.
I also use some resources from Family Planning Queensland. I particularly like "I have the Right to be Safe" booklet. You can find it here (sorry, no idea how to link properly!): http://www.fpq.com.au/factsheets_brochures/menu_parents.stm

Tiff - Thanks, and I agree! :-)

PlanningQueen said...

A powerful post Alison on how talking about issues with children can be incorporated into daily life and keeping it out it in the open.

Alison said...

Thanks PQ :-)
Both incorporating self protection into daily life and keeping things out in the open is very important, I think.

Michelle said...

Hi, I just stumbled upon your blog. You really do have something great here. I love the open and honest aproach, so much respect, and showing them to leave (go)is so important for the future - don't just move away in a scary situations - go go go!