Friends

The kewl girls and I went to a Special Education School today. I had to drop in to pick up some equipment I left behind last time and the girls wanted to come too. We got there just before lunch and even though I did what I needed to do in 5 minutes, the kewl girls stayed and played happily with their friends all the way through lunch break and into the next lesson!

As we were leaving we bumped into Mrs. E, a teacher and ex colleague from the State School next door. We exchanged how are yous and then she turned her attention to the kewl girls.
Even though Mrs. E was the certified 'teacher' in the group, I think the kewl girls did most of the teaching in their conversation today...

Mrs. E: "Aren't you lucky girls, going to work with mum?"
Miss J: "We didn't go to work. We went to school."
Mrs. E: "Of course you did! Silly me! Do you like going to school with mum?"
Miss F: "Yes, it's fun."
Mrs. E: "How lovely. And do you play with the little disabled kiddies?"
Miss F: "No."
Mrs. E: "No?! Don't you play with any disabled children at special school?"
Miss J: "No."
Miss V: "No."
Mrs. E: "Well what do you do then?"

Miss V: "We play with our friends."

Miss F: "Yeah.. We play with our friends."

Of course. Silly Mrs. E.

Potato or Vagina?

A few days ago, Miss J, Miss F and I learnt about syllables. It wasn't a planned lesson, but when the word came up in conversation and they asked about it, it was a perfect teachable moment.

I explained the concept, then we "clapped out" their names and once they had a good understanding we moved onto fitting different words into songs.

We started with seven po-ta-toes (more!), then in our garden we grew seven tom-a-toes, seven pine-ap-ples, seven ba-na-nas, seven cu-cum-bers and seven dal-mat-ians (Whip the dalmatian was standing in the veggie patch).

Later, while all 3 kewl girls were playing with their babies, Miss J helped Miss V to count them. Upon discovering there were four babies, plus themselves makes seven, Miss J and Miss F came up with another version of the Potato Song...

"One vagina, two vagina, three vagina, four. Five vagina, six vagina, seven vagina, more!"

They spent all weekend singing it at the tops of their lungs - Including through the main street in town. Yesterday I heard no more vaginas and assumed they were past this particular craze.
I thought wrong.

Today at the park Miss V was playing with another young boy on the see-saw. He started singing, "Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up, horsey..." and Miss V joined in. When they were giddy enough, the boy asked if she knew the Potato Song and he sang, "One potato, two potato, three potato, four. Five potato, six potato, seven potato, more!" Adding in the accompanying hand gestures.

Miss V replied, "It's not po-ta-to! it's va-gi-na!"
Then she sang, "One vagina, two vagina, three vagina, four. Five vagina, six vagina, seven vagina, more!" Complete with Auslan signs and a Pip! and RAY! at the end.

I don't think the boy was quite ready for a dose of Miss V's girl power...
He ran away screaming.

Miss V - kewl girl that she is - just looked at me, shrugged her shoulders and said, "No more vaginas for him then."

Oh yeah! That's my girl!

I love "No. Go. Tell."

We went to the local park today. We love our local park... There is a small playground there - with swings and a bouncy thing (to use the technical name) - There is also lots of open space to run and explore, a pond to admire and picnic tables to eat at.
It is a beautiful spot and it's not just children and families who appreciate it.

Today we were sharing the park with a young couple. They were sitting about 10 meters from us on a bench under a tree, trying to swallow each other very much enjoying each others company.
The kewl girls were playing on the swings and didn't notice the couple until they came over to the table for food. When Miss F spotted them she was not impressed...

Miss F, "HEY! That's a sexy touch!"
Me, "Yes it is, and those people are grown ups, aren't they?"
Miss F, "Ye-ah.."
Me, "It is OK for grown ups to be sexy like that, when they both want to."
Miss F, "Ye-ah. But that's private. That's a sexy touch."
Me, "You're right, Miss F. What do you think we should do?"
Miss F, "I think they should go to their room!"
Me, "That would be a great choice for them! What about us? What do we do if someone is being sexy in front of us and we don't want them to?"
Miss F put her hand up, traffic director style, and shouted, "NO!"
Me, "That's right! Then what?"
Miss F and Miss J started running on the spot and yelled, "GO!"
Me, "Yes! So what will we do now?"
Miss J, "Let's go!"
Me, "Hooray! Let's go!"

Then Miss V cracked it because she wasn't ready to leave, so we just moved to another table... But that is not the point.
The point is - The kewl girls recognised a sexy touch!!
They remembered that being sexy is private!!
We took action!!

We said NO!
Then we said, let's GO!
And when we were at a safer table, I asked the kewl girls to TELL me what had happened.

NO. GO. TELL.

Miss J has used NO GO TELL before, to keep herself safe at daycare.
We used it today, because we decided watching two people trying to swallow each other was not something we could swallow.

Some people may find our actions a little extreme - Moving tables just because a couple was kissing on a bench, 10 meters away.

You know what I find extreme?

The prevalence of child sexual abuse is said to be one in three.

I have three children.

While I do not live in fear, I refuse to live in ignorance, either.
I value self protection skills and we practice them all the time. Today was a perfect teachable moment and I am thrilled that the girls are applying the things we learn from books and games to real life situations.

Knowledge is power, and self protection is a power we should all have.

Yep. I love "No. Go. Tell."

Bye bye, puppy dog

The girls and I took the dogs to the beach today and we made friends with another family who were out flying a kite. Their kids wanted to play with our dogs, and the girls wanted to play with their kite, so it was a perfect match!
After a while the kids decided to ditch us adults and make up their own games.
Miss J played leap frog with her new friend, Miss 6, and Miss F, Miss V and their new friend Mr 2 played puppy dogs.

When it was time to go our separate ways, Mr 2 tried to give Miss V a hug. Miss V put her hand up, meaning 'stop', and said "No thanks!".

Woohoo! Go Miss V! And Woohoo! A teachable moment!

I explained that hugs were for our family and for friends that we've met lots and lots of times before. Then I asked the girls what a good way of saying goodbye to a new friend was.

Miss V waved.

Miss J waved.

Miss F said, "Sniff their bum!"

Mum - 0
Puppy dog - 1

People First

The kewl girls and I were in town today and we bumped into L, the manager of the community centre where we do music. We stopped to chat and during our conversation I mentioned that we were shopping for a birthday present for the girls' friend R, who also comes to music.
It took L a moment to remember R from the 20 other children in the group.. When she did, she said, "Oh yes, the little down-sie girl."

In response, Miss J frowned and said, "Her name is R, and she's not a down-sie girl, she's my friend."

I couldn't have put it better myself.

R is a person, not a diagnosis.
Down syndrome is what she has. It is not who or what or all that she is.

We are all people first. No matter what our abilities, no matter what our diagnosis, no matter how smart our brains or how agile our bodies, we are all people first.

To only see a label is to be, in Miss J's words, "A big smelly bum".