Soon my little baby V will be 2 years old.
Miss V, who has been "almost 2" for months, is now really turning two.
Next week.

So lately I've been reflecting on the past two years, and last night, we had a moment.
We were nursing when Miss V stopped, looked up at me and said, "I'm happy. Are you happy, mum?"

To fully appreciate the kewlness of this moment, a little history is necessary...

When we found out I was pregnant with Miss V's older sisters, Daddy Kewl and I spent hours upon hours talking about our future. We talked about our own childhoods, about those family traditions we wanted to pass on to our children and those that we didn't. We talked about experiences we wanted our children to have, cultures and communities and people and places and ideas that we wanted them to celebrate. We talked about our own values, both as people and as parents. We imagined hundreds of "what if?" scenarios and would constantly throw "what if?" questions at one another, to "test our parenting styles". We also imagined thousands of different lives our children might lead and different paths our family might travel.
We laughed hysterically at ourselves, too, because we knew there was no way we could possibly imagine how our lives would change, or what our parenting styles would be like!
Then the twins arrived, and we laughed even harder.

The day we celebrated Miss V's impending arrival was also the day of Daddy Kewl's departure.
In the midst of my grief, I was terrified I was going to have a sad baby - That I would pass all of my pain on to her and that she would be born sad.
The thought that she was feeling what I was feeling and that this would be her first experience of life was almost more than I could stand.

All through my pregnancy, my greatest wish was for Miss V to be happy. This was the only scenario I wanted to imagine for us and the only "what if?" I could entertain.
I vowed that every day I would seize the happy moments and experience them with every fibre of my being. I vowed to find as many as possible, to celebrate them with my girls and to be thankful for them with all of my heart.

Next week, we celebrate two whole years of incredible, fabulous, amazing, magical, joyous moments, and I am thankful for these with all of my heart.

Last night when Miss V stopped nursing, looked up at me and said, "I'm happy. Are you happy, mum?", I looked into her eyes and the purist joy filled every fibre of our being.

Yes, Miss V. We are happy.


Lin said...

Oh Al, that really made me all teary. What an incredibly beautiful moment you described.

debby said...

What a powerful affirmation! I'm so glad for you. And that affirmation will flow from you to your girls. All is well. Be at peace.

baby~amore' said...

So precious.Made me all teary too - Hugs to you Alison for the remarkable and kewl job you are doing.Daddy Kewl would be so proud of all of you.

Miss V is a great talker and very intuitive - my twins will be 2 in 6 weeks and they can't talk nearly as good.

I love to hear of other mothers too still nursing their 2 year olds.

Megan from Imaginif said...

Me too...I am crying - big fat salty pregnant tears running onto my desk. They are tears of happiness though A and V - tears for the changed and positive future.

Pencil Writer said...

Sweet. Great wisdom from a great, kewl Mom and Dad--and three very kewl girls. Happy Birthday Miss V!

PlanningQueen said...

A truly beautiful post depicting the overwhelming love a mother has for her children. Happy Birthday to V.

Like Trish your 2 y.o talks way more than mine!

jeanie said...

Oh I am so happy for all of you also. Beautifully illustrated with your words.

Alison said...

Lin, she is the Queen of moments, Miss V. Glad I could share this one.

Debby, affirming is a great description. Yes, all is well.

Trish, thanks for your hugs and your kind words. As for Miss V's talking - She has two older sisters who never shut up. They are great role models for her.

Megan, so long as they are happy tears. We're all about the happy moments :)

PW, I so loved reading "kewl mum and dad" together in a sentence. You are one super kewl woman, PW.

PQ, there's nothing in the world like that love, is there?
Miss V tends to be much less vocal when her big sisters are around. When it's just her and I though, she comes out with some amazing words. Often they revolve around poo.

Thanks Jeanie. I take your comment as a huge compliment, coming from a woman with such a way with words herself.

Melody said...

Oh my. What a gorgeous girl you have and how strong you are...

PreSchool Mama said...

You defintely didn't have a sad child, that's for sure. Lots of love your way, and I hope (and I think) that sharing this with those of us who marvel at your spirit, is healing in some way.

alice said...

OK, so now I am cryng. Again. Gee, you write so well.

Ingrid said...

I can only reiterate the others. Such a lovely story. I just came across your blog and it is so lovely. Good luck with your girls. I can imagine being on your own would be really tricky but it sounds like you are doing well. Loved the ice blocks. Think I will steal the idea for my girls.

tiff said...

It has taken me ages to track down your blog and when I do I find this most amazing soul baring post that has me crying really hard tears of I'm not sure what.

You are amazing, you have an amazing gift and to see such beauty where there is pain is also a beautiful thing.