James and the olive branch

It's a beautiful day here today. The sun is out and there is a cool breeze, just perfect for playing outside. We spent the morning hanging out with the horses, then Miss J helped Miss V wash the dogs (ie. attack them with the hose) while Miss F wandered around taking photos.

We weathered a minor storm from Miss F when it was time to head back inside for lunch. She cracked it big time when I got up to go inside. "But MUM! (Insert unintelligible wailing here) MUM! WAIT!" I figured it was just the fallout from an unsettled week, so I let her scream it out. She joined us at the table fairly quickly and she seemed to have calmed herself down, even if she was still shooting me filthy looks.

After lunch I decided I'd had enough filth for one day, so I hooked the camera up to the computer, olive branch style, and asked Miss F to show me her photos.
Her 67 photos, to be precise.

Olive branch accepted, the show began - complete with running commentary.
Twenty three of them were of "Al holding Misster Baskey Ball", and they looked something like this:

The rest of them were of "James", and they looked like this:

Oh yeah, Miss F was really working that olive branch.

I sat through forty four photos of grass.
Not only that, I pretended to be interested in every single one of them.
Am I kewl, or what?

Yeah, I am. So kewl I was about to delete every last blade - Then I had a brain wave...

"Miss F, who is James?"
"That's James..." She pointed at the screen.
"Where?"
"There..." She pointed again.
"Show me one more time?"

"Right there!"

"Oh KEWL!"

"Ye-ah. That was right before you dropped Misster Basskey Ball on him."
She flung me a look so filthy I'll be cleaning dirt out of my ears for weeks.

Oh dear.

The unintelligible wailing suddenly became intelligible.

"But MUM! You just squished James! MUM! WAIT!"

And with that, Miss F let go of the olive branch and it flicked back and thwacked me on the forehead.

Not kewl, mum.

8 comments:

Megan from Imaginif said...

lol... A, you'll have to make your financial fortune by sending your stories into places like Readers Digest where they pay for humourous, real life stuff like this. As dreadful as this must have been for you all (particularly for James), it is also very funny and your ability to turn the infuriating into a laughable is just divine.

I so wish you girls were coming up this month. Wait till it's really freezing down there and then you lot will be packing the car up for a "life in a northern town" visit.

Alison said...

lol.. thanks Megan. "Kewl Kids Go Readers Digest". What a fabulous home learner stereotype!
How silly was I yesterday. I totally forgot my own communication rules. Duh, mum.
We talked about it later though, and all is well. We also talked about how James might have felt - Miss F thinks he felt "crushed".

jeanie said...

Oh how cruel of you, Al.

Of course, had she captured it on film, she could have had a case but as it is, her word against yours...

lol - and poor F. She got a metaphorical crushing. Still, one of life's lessons albeit a painful one.

debby said...

No 'Pip' no 'Ray' for you today.

Bush Babe (of Granite Glen) said...

Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear... heh heh heh. Poor James. Sorry. Have to giggle. *mmmmpffff* Poor James...
:-0
BB

alice said...

Haha, oh no. Funny but not. Poor James. (still giggling)

Alison said...

It might be her word against mine Jeanie, but I have to admit, she can throw a better tantrum than me - So I think I'll just take her word for it!

Debby, Pip and Ray were definitely not my friends on Saturday. We're buds now though. I have cake ;)

BB and Alice, I think poor James just likes getting sympathy from chicks!

baby~amore' said...

oh dear - sometimes you have to wave the magic wand and and olive branch.Poor James.

You do need to submit to Readers Digest a few of these gems.

She takes a great photo.