Stinky Germans

We were sitting at our favourite cafe today when Miss J announced, very loudly, "I don't like Germans. They are yucky and stinky and I want them to go away forever."
After I stopped choking... I replied, "People from Germany are people, just like us J. They come from a different place, that's all."
Miss J, "They're not proper people, they're Germans! And they should go back away, and not come and be pesky and sick and disgusting near us."
Me, "People aren't pesky or sick just because they come from somewhere else."
Miss J, "Yeah, Germans are too stinky and annoying and grose! We should catch them all and send them away, 'sept we're not allowed, are we?"

At this point we had the attention of the entire cafe.
The entire German cafe.

Me, "No Miss J, we are definitely not allowed. That would be very mean and unfair. We can't make other people go away because we don't like them, and coming from a different country isn't a reason not to like another person..."
Miss J, "Not people, stinky GERMANS!"
Me, "Miss J, people from Germany are still people!"
Miss J, "No mum - GERMANS!"

Then she made the sign for "mouse" and I nearly passed out with relief.

"OH.. You mean VERMIN!"

"Ye-ah. Stinky vermin."


baby~amore' said...

OMG - it would have been hard not to laugh - that is so funny (well I hope you told them all about the Vermin)
Cuteness beyond measure Alison.

Lin said...


As I was reading I was hoping you'd use the Falwty Towers line: "Don't mention the war!"

debby said...

Oh, my gosh! My sister's most embarrassing mother moment: Her son had reached the point where he no longer wanted to sit in the shopping cart, so he was walking at her side. They passed a man who had just come from barn chores (judging from the smell) to grab a bag of dog food. Jim began to say, "Gosh! Something stinks. What is that smell?" etc. My sister tried to hurry him along while shushing him. He continued on. In total humiliation, she kept pushing the cart to the end of the aisle. By that point, he was standing behind the man bellowing at the top of his lungs "Mom! MOOOOOMMM! I found what stinks..." She nearly died.

Pencil Writer said...

Oh, those sticky moments of motherhood! How to lovelingly and appropriately explain to our children w/o offending others that their comments are either not accurate or unkind, ill-founded, misinformed. All that while we try to keep from redfaced humiliation. Motherhood: the perks are unlimited!

jeanie said...

Ah yes, my grandmother used to have a big problem with the germans - only hers were due to the war!

PreSchool Mama said...

I was positive right to the very end that she was going to say "germs, not Germans, Mom!" Too cute!

Melody said...

Oh my goodness! How embarrassing for everyone involved - including the people in the cafe!!

We're very happy a German Cafe has opened up not far from us - can't wait to visit, especially after visiting Germany and sampling their yummy food (& beer!) and how lovely they were towards us.

Megan from Imaginif said...

Oh heart was beating fast for you. Like Preschool Muma, I thought it was going to be about germs! lol....Your children are so divine. Mxx

Alison said...

Trish, it was very funny after she made the mouse sign! I was very tempted to yell out to everyone, "It's OK! She meant vermin!! We're still good people!"

Lin, the girls don't need any more encouragement from fawlty towers! But that would have been very funny lol.

Debby, I am so cringing for your daughter! And laughing at "I found what stinks!".

PW, the perks are indeed unlimited.

Lol Jeanie, thankfully the only war concerning these particular 'germin' is how to keep them out of the feed shed.

Preschool Mama, germs would have been fine by me! It's funny how when I read these moments it seems so obvious that there's been a toddler mix up, yet at the time I'm totally sucked in.

Melody, I hope the new German cafe near you is as good as 'ours'. I imagine having been to Germany would make it all the more exciting for you, too!

Megan, I don't think I've ever been that relieved to be talking about vermin!