Now face to face, this is the conversation that followed...
Miss F, "Mummy look! You have symmetrical pimples!"
Me, "They're freckles, darling."
Miss F, "No they not, they pimples!" *Pointing* "One on that side and one on that side. See? Symmetrical pimples!"
Me, "Yes, they are symmetrical, and they are freckles because they are brown, aren't they?"
Miss F, "No they are pimples, mum. Pim-ples."
Sniggering from the people in front of us...
Me, "They're freckles, Miss F."
Miss F, "PIMPLES! They are pimples! 'Cause they are all red and gooey and 'scusting! Yucky pimples."
Silence from me...
Laughter from the people in front of us...
Miss F, "They are pimples, mum. Sorry - But they are."
More silence from me.
More laughter from the people in front of us...
Miss F, "Mum....? Mummy....? Hey Al....? Allllllll......????"
Me, "Yes, darling child?"
Miss F, "They are pimples, aren't they? Yeah, I know they are 'cause of the pus and stuff. They are really gross you know, mum."
Me, "OK, thanks Miss F."
Miss F, "Mum?"
Me, "Yes, Miss F?"
Miss F, "Are you going to stop eating pus now?"
Roars of laughter from the people in front of us...
Miss F, "Eating pus?"
Me, "I don't eat pus! Yuck!"
Miss F, "But L (her friend's mum) says that you are what you eat? So you shouldn't eat pimples, should you mum?"
Me, "No you shouldn't. I will stop eating pimples."
Miss F, "EEWWW! You eat PIMPLES!! That's GROSS!!"
Me, "I think you can stand on your own feet now, Miss F."
Miss F, "Yeah! 'Cause I might get sploshed with pimple pus otherwise! Oh no! Don't splosh on me, mum!" *Covers her head dramatically*
Hysterical laughter from everyone around us...
Then the person in front of us turned around and said, "You can go before me... I don't want to get sploshed on, either."
And that is how to jump the queue when shopping with
(P.S. - I have symmetrical freckles.)