How to jump shopping queues...

This afternoon we had to make a quick dash to the shops after a pretty full on day. The girls were genuinely tired, so when we were standing in the queue at the counter and Miss F complained, "My legs are DYING mum!", I figured it would be easier to pick her up than deal with a dead leg induced tantrum.

Now face to face, this is the conversation that followed...

Miss F, "Mummy look! You have symmetrical pimples!"

Me, "They're freckles, darling."

Miss F, "No they not, they pimples!" *Pointing* "One on that side and one on that side. See? Symmetrical pimples!"

Me, "Yes, they are symmetrical, and they are freckles because they are brown, aren't they?"

Miss F, "No they are pimples, mum. Pim-ples."

Sniggering from the people in front of us...

Me, "They're freckles, Miss F."

Miss F, "PIMPLES! They are pimples! 'Cause they are all red and gooey and 'scusting! Yucky pimples."

Silence from me...
Laughter from the people in front of us...

Miss F, "They are pimples, mum. Sorry - But they are."

More silence from me.
More laughter from the people in front of us...

Miss F, "Mum....? Mummy....? Hey Al....? Allllllll......????"

Me, "Yes, darling child?"

Miss F, "They are pimples, aren't they? Yeah, I know they are 'cause of the pus and stuff. They are really gross you know, mum."

Me, "OK, thanks Miss F."

Miss F, "Mum?"

Me, "Yes, Miss F?"

Miss F, "Are you going to stop eating pus now?"

Roars of laughter from the people in front of us...

Me, "What?!!"

Miss F, "Eating pus?"

Me, "I don't eat pus! Yuck!"

Miss F, "But L (her friend's mum) says that you are what you eat? So you shouldn't eat pimples, should you mum?"

Me, "No you shouldn't. I will stop eating pimples."

Miss F, "EEWWW! You eat PIMPLES!! That's GROSS!!"

Me, "I think you can stand on your own feet now, Miss F."

Miss F, "Yeah! 'Cause I might get sploshed with pimple pus otherwise! Oh no! Don't splosh on me, mum!" *Covers her head dramatically*

Hysterical laughter from everyone around us...

Then the person in front of us turned around and said, "You can go before me... I don't want to get sploshed on, either."

And that is how to jump the queue when shopping with pimples children.

(P.S. - I have symmetrical freckles.)

20 comments:

Me & Boo said...

I've only just managed to control my laughter and leave a comment....ROFL!!!

jeanie said...

Ewwww - I am retching here at the image - I would let you jump the quque also!

PlanningQueen said...

I love the way that children can hold on so tight to an idea. Miss F has quite an imagination.

baby~amore' said...

that was hilarious ... my friends little girl said I had balls on my face (I don't mind the male kind)

The kewl girls are krewd but kewt.

Rhubarb Whine said...

LOL!
LOLOLOL!
LOL!

debby said...

Oh, man....I would have just died of embarrassment.

Megan from Cairns said...

I want that girl at one of my dinner parties.

F and Rhys and going to have to be separated because they are peas in a pod. At 23 he still has conversations like that!

This is a great weight losing blog A. When I read it, I laugh and laugh. It's aerobics for my tummy muscles.

Onya Miss F....when you come to Cairns I'll make sure I've got some pus in the fridge to offer to the others :)

ksharonk said...

Just letting you know ...

I've given you a 'You make my Day' award on my blog. I'm a new reader, but I must admit to having started at the beginning of your blog and reading all the way through. I thoroughly enjoyed your posts ... :)

Alison said...

Me & Boo - It was pretty funny in the shop, too! Glad you had a laugh :)

Jeanie - Freckles!! They are FRECKLES!!! lol

PQ -Oh yeah, Miss F has been, er, blessed, with an iron grip! Her imagination is very entertaining.

Trish - LOL! I'm liking your imagination, too!

Rhubarb Whine - I read your comment to Miss F and explained what it meant, she said, "Ha ha. She thinks I'm funny. Ha."

Deb - I considered it, but the thought of blogging our moment kept me going. lol

Megan - I can't wait for the Rhys + Miss F conversations!
It's great to hear you're laughing, too. It's not just good for tummy muscles. ;)

Hi there Sharon! Nice to have you here :)
I found your design blog - They are just gorgeous. Is that your main blog? I couldn't find any others.

Pencil Writer said...

I haen't laughed this hard in a while. Miss F. Wow. Tact--well 3 year olds don't get it and they're all about honestly. Let's see . . . the pros and cons of precocious children. She's a keeper--but then you knew that. :-}

Melody said...

Oh my goodness. Out of the mouths of babes hey?

tiff said...

Oh Allison,
THANKYOU

I needed to laugh and that is exactly what I have done.

Alison said...

PW - Tactful is definitely not her strong point. Although it's not really mine, either! lol. As for honesty - they are freckles!!!

Melody - Yep!
So are you up for the barbie at Imaginif next month? The kewl girls and I will be up on holidays and we'd love to meet you :)

Tiff - you're most welcome! Glad we could spread some happy endorphins :)

PreSchool Mama said...

ROTFLMAO!
Could I borrow that young lady for a day? There are a few female members of my husband's family I want to set her loose on..!!

Bush Babe (of Granite Glen) said...

He he he he he he he he he he !!!!
Oh you poor thing!!! Little possums... or as Dash would say: Little Ratbox!

I have a (true) story about boarding school along these lines: one of my classmates in year 8 at the time would stand in front of the mirror of her dresser and "shoot" the glass... squeezing her zits!!! We'd all cheer when one hit - we were very easily entertained!! In retrospect, fairly disgusting...

*slinks off*

katef - www.picklebums.com said...

ha ha ha ha OMG that is both hysterically funny and horrifically much like a conversation I had about my vagina with my four year olds in a supermarket queue once... LOL

Alison said...

Preschool Mama - Sure, but she charges for consultations now. Or at least, she charges me $1 when I want to go through 'her' door way.

BB - I read Miss F your boarding school story and she LOVED it. Even though she pretended to be disgusted.

LOL Kate - Aren't supermarket queue conversations the best?

Mountaingirl said...

I love your passion for finding the funny side of things ... still rofl :-)

Anonymous said...

Don't even think about sploshing near me! Yick!
Freckles my bum- i know how much chocolate you eat!
Just kidding. I love your symmetrical freckles and you fantastical children. Love you lots xoxo Sammi

Alison said...

Mountaingirl - I think it helps that there are so many funny sides where the girls are involved lol! Glad you had a laugh, too.

Sammi - You finally drop in and then go right ahead and dob on me! Meanie! The kewl girls were so excited that auntie Sammi wrote something on their "kewl purple page". Miss V is still cracking up because you said "bum".