The dress code

Thought it was time for a more light hearted post!
Miss F is a fashion queen. Her passion for fashion definitely is not genetic. I hate shopping. When I eventually have nothing left to wear I go to the Op Shop, and usually get distracted by the costume section (Luckily I do performing arts and can almost get away with wearing a clown suit to work).
Miss F couldn't be a greater opposite. She reads fashion magazines. She spends half an hour picking out her clothes in the morning. She will not leave the house without beads, bag and sunglasses. Everything has to match, and I do mean EVERYTHING.
This morning, while she was choosing her clothes, I asked her exactly what she was looking for - what made one dress better than another?
I received a half hour lesson. I was stunned.

This is what I learned:

• Dresses have to flare out when you twirl. This "spin factor" is VERY important
• Everything must have frills, beads, ribbon, buttons, hearts and flowers - "but there are good flowers and bad flowers so you have to be careful"
  
• Tim's don't know how to dress very well. I didn't get this one at first. J had to explain "because they're fashion Tim's" (or fashion victims)
  
• All clothes should be pink or yellow, depending on your "skin bone" (aka skin tone)
  
• You can't wear pink and red together because they "crash" (aka clash)
  
• Finally, before you go out you have to "assess you eyes" (aka accessorise.. I think that's where the sunglasses come in)

I am guessing that these are some of the pointers she's picked up from her god mother, M, who's sense of style is nothing if not humorous.
Love your work, M!