I had to get a new chainsaw today. The old one gave up months ago and it's gotten to the point where getting down the driveway takes a lot of careful maneuvering (not my specialty) and most of the paint off the car.
So I was unpacking the new machine this morning and being a dangerous piece of equipment I actually read the instructions. This is what I found on the first page:
WARNING! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAINSAW WITH HANDS OR GENITALS
Damn. I was so looking forward to trying that.