WARNING

I had to get a new chainsaw today. The old one gave up months ago and it's gotten to the point where getting down the driveway takes a lot of careful maneuvering (not my specialty) and most of the paint off the car.
So I was unpacking the new machine this morning and being a dangerous piece of equipment I actually read the instructions. This is what I found on the first page:

WARNING! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAINSAW WITH HANDS OR GENITALS

Damn. I was so looking forward to trying that.

7 comments:

jeanie said...

Ouch!!!

lol - when they brought in chainsaw licensing a few years ago, a couple of timber men were issued with special chaps. So off they went to get changed. When they came back out, one said "I don't know how this is meant to protect a fella?" - he had removed his trousers to put on the chaps!

A said...

LOL!
Another one of the warning was "Keep a firm grip with both hands whilst chainsaw is running. DO NOT LET GO."

debby said...

Oh, I am so glad that you read the instructions!

All joking aside, we heat with wood, and every year we go into our woods and saw up all the downed trees. My stepson Mike did have a chainsaw accident. It was terrifying. He missed his genitals, however. I'll remind him how lucky he was!

A said...

Gosh Debby, that must have been awful! How very lucky indeed that he missed his genitals and is still here to be reminded of this!

Megan from Imaginif said...

Alison I reckon those instructions are because you are a non perpetrator. If you were a kiddie fiddler then maybe the instructions would read differently if written by a parent whose child had been hurt???

The bad blogging person is now under police surveillance. The police swooped on the info I handed across.

A said...

I did come up with a couple of different, gruesome and slightly vengeful versions, Megan. I'm glad bad blogger is under surveillance and it sounds like swift action was taken - Fantastic!
On a completely unrelated note - I had the feeling faces page out with the girls today and Miss J said she was feeling "hungover". lol. I think (hope) she meant 'hot'.

baby~amore' said...

yes Ouch and hilarious ...mine is lame on the Kappoochi Nappy backpack ... do not place baby inside.