New feeling word

This afternoon we had a picnic with the horses and by the end of it J was pretty tired and over it. She cracked it for some reason when we were going back to the house so I asked her to stop and take a breath and then said to her "I need to know what you're feeling so I can help you. Please use your words, J, how do you feel?"
Without pause, she looked at me and screamed "SILENT!!!"


jeanie said...

ha ha - you asked!!!

Megan from Imaginif said...

Oh dear....I wonder what the emotion that goes with that is? Tired?
Did you laugh or were you able to keep it together?

A said...

I think tiredness had a lot to do with it. I think she was a bit out on overload and in need of some space, too. "Silent" was probably code for, 'I've had enough of talking and playing and I need some down time'.
I didn't laugh at the time, woohoo!
I said that it was OK to not want to talk sometimes, that she could have a rest now and that we would talk later.

Megan from Imaginif said...

Allison I really love that you put into practice what we try to encourage parents to do. I'll link to this post at some stage because you so beautifully showed how easy it is to do - it is not the fact that the little one could not answer, but that you modelled such excellent communication and emotional intelligence to her. Congrats to you.

A said...

Thanks Megan :-)
I teach these kinds of skills in schools and around the place, and I've found that role modeling is probably one of the most powerful tools to assist learning.
Teaching the girls emotional intelligence makes my job as their mum so much easier, too! Tantrums are easier to avoid when we can communicate how we're feeling, even if the words aren't always there yet.

debby said...

I remember when my sister was angry with her sonm who was just a preschool kiddo, and she was expressing this to him in a very tired-mother way. He looked at her with a quivering lip and tearfilled eyes and said, "Now you've done you've hurt my little feelers."

My sister pulled up short and stared, burst out laughing. Jim is grown and married and a soldier, but for all these many years it's been a catch phrase for everyone. When things take an ugly turn, someone says "Now you've done it..."

A, you are an excellent mom, and I sincerely doubt that there are many hurt feelers at your house.