Come out, come out, wherever you are!

As a solo mum of 3 children, I am outnumbered, 3:1. Usually this is not an issue, as the Kewl girls are usually quite delightful, as far as 4 and 3 year olds go...... Yes..... Usually being the operative word there!
Sometimes, all 3 delightful Kewl girls throw themselves unto simultaneous meltdowns - and it's at these times that the 3:1 ratio does not work so well. So, instead of attempting to wrangle 3 screaming banshees children into a state of calm all at once, I have been know to - on occasion - wrangle my own 'calm' into a separate room and leave them to scream it out. It's really quite amazing how effective removing yourself from the situation can be sometimes!

Tonight was one of those nights where no amount of positive persuasion was going to result in the Kewl girls taking themselves delightfully off to bed. When it got to the point where Miss J was screaming, "I will NOT brush my teeth EVER... AGAIN!!! They will all fall out and then I WON'T HAVE ANY TO BRUSH!!! And YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!" ......
And her equally delightful twin was trying to fart on her delightfully unimpressed smaller sister......
Who was proclaiming rather loudly that she was, "Never going to bed, EVER AGAIN!" ......

Well - I decided to take a 5 minute 'calm' break.

Four and a half minutes into my calm break, relative quiet had settled over the banshees children and I was considering my reappearance, when smallest child piped up again....

"Mummy... I know you're in there... You have to come out eventually you know. [Pause] Mummy... You can't hide forever. [Pause] Muuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyy."

Now, just to be clear, if ever one of my children started to panic or worry, even for a milisecond, I would never stay removed from them - but Miss V was not at all concerned. In fact, her tone was bordering on taunting!

She changed her tactic and continued....

"Mummy... I know you're in there mummy. You might as well just come out now..... Mummy, you will fart eventually and then I will SMELL you out... Is that what you choose mum? The smelly choice?"

Classy little lady, yes?

Classy and impatient, it seems....

"Mummy! You please come out of there right now!!!! You have to come out!!!! MUM!!!! Come out now!!!! MUUUUUUM!!!!! COME OUT NOW OR I WON'T EVEN SAY PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

By this stage you might be wondering why I didn't just come out - my 'calm' place was obviously no longer proving very effective and going out would probably have stopped the situation from escalating - but alas, I was not coming out and Miss V was left to continue her shouting assaults....

"Mummy! You are not making me very happy right now mum! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease come out mummy......... Puh-leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease..... Mummy!!!! I SAID PLEASE!!! NOW COME OUT!!!!!"

OK, so this is verging on ridiculous now, right? What do I think I'm playing at, leaving my youngest daughter screaming desperately for her mother to come out!

This has gone too far, right?

Yep, I agree. At first it was funny, then a bit annoying, but now it's down right insulting...

"I am right here, Miss V, but you'll need to turn around to see me, because no matter how hard you scream - I am not going to come out of the dog kennel."