Three Times Kewl

Change

Wow.
For the first time since I started blogging, I am sitting in front of the computer, wanting to write this post and struggling to find the words.

Maybe it is because the moments I am recalling are not all love light and bliss ones.
Maybe it is because I have cried for almost 48 hours straight and my brain is being squashed by my swollen face.
Maybe it is because I feel like I have left it too long, and now I'm not sure where to start.
Maybe it is because this blog is a place where I can control how much I show of myself - or more to the point, what I show of myself - and writing this post is a little outside of my comfort zone.
Maybe I am still in hiding, and I am struggling because writing this post makes it real.

Or maybe I am just talking shit in an attempt to avoid saying what I need to say.

Wow.
I am very good at procrastinating.

OK, how about a timeline? I can do a timeline.
Kewl.
Here goes...

24 weeks ago -
My two dearest friends in the universe (M&M) made a baby embryo.

24 weeks ago -
Their baby embryo was transferred to my uterus.
I became pregnant with their child.

20 weeks ago -
We announced our pregnancy to close friends and family.

18 weeks ago -
We started a Baby Blog.

12 weeks ago -
We announced our pregnancy to the wider community.

8 weeks ago -
An ultrasound showed us Baby has a penis.

2 weeks ago -
Another ultrasound showed there was too much amniotic fluid in Baby's water bed.

2 weeks ago -
Baby was diagnosed with atypical Esophageal Atresia (this means his esophagus hasn't formed properly) and he also has a cyst in his throat.
These things are stopping him from swallowing amniotic fluid effectively.

1 week ago -
Amniocentesis results came back.
Baby has a genetic disorder called Cri-du-Chat syndrome.

This syndrome will change Baby's life.

It will change a lot of things.

What it will never, ever change, is how much Baby is loved.

So there it is. The time line.
Now we are going to take some time out to adjust to this change.
For the second time in as many months, we are going away to the beach.
See you all when we return.

Freak Fest - Lessons from Week 2

Thirty something year old freaks are not above planting buckets of water on top of door frames.

I am not above retaliation.

"Have a nice trip?"

"See you next fall!"

Freak Fest - Lessons from Week 1

Anything not bolted down will be juggled. This includes any of the smaller pieces of furniture, any of the smaller animals and most of all - the small children.

Anything recently ~~bolted down~~ eaten by the small children will make a rather messy come back.

The shed roof makes an excellent bass drum when played with maracas, clap sticks and especially riding crops.

Shed roofs within reach of a hose make for very wet drummers, especially when the shed owner was not invited to join the band.

Asking a bunch of wannabe ex circus freaks to keep both feet on the ground for more than 2 minutes is like asking a fish to stop swimming.
Not. Going. To. Happen.

Keeping both of your own feet on the ground for more than 2 minutes when you're surrounded by a bunch of wannabe ex circus freaks is like asking a fish to swim backwards.
Impossible.

Ten years might have past since my "serious" circus days, but this week I have realised it is true what they say -

Once a freak, always a freak.

Freak Fest '08

Check out the new Kewl banner!!

How kewl am I?!!

Yep - Very. Especially as I got someone else to do it for me!

A big big thank you to Sammi - A darling freak who is here for the reunion and whom I am lucky enough to have as a friend. She has commented on here a few times (usually to dob me in for eating too much chocolate) and even though she doesn't blog herself, she is actually quite the computer whiz!

Sammi created the new banner in about half an hour, using software she'd never worked with before, AND she figured out how to put in on the blog for me! (Oh yeah, she is a typical, over achieving freak.)

She also came up with this image:

I quite like this one - But I think it is almost a little too perfect and I love our beautiful green garden in the background of the other one. What do you think?

My profile photo has also been updated. The last picture was taken at sunrise on the second anniversary of M's death - but as Sammi was kind enough to point out, "That was over a year ago now - move on already!"

Nothing like a freak telling it how they see it.

Three Times Kewl is not the only freak show benefiting from Sammi's creative genius... Not only does this blog have a new banner - The Freak Fest has one, too.

SO kewl.

Now I must go and freak out again, but as a final thought, I leave you with our festival slogan.
Given there are now 30 freaks here, with another 8 arriving tomorrow - It is not so much kewl, as it is highly appropriate...

FREAK FEST '08

"Never underestimate the power of freaks in large numbers."

Time and Energy

First off - Thank you for all of the kewl thoughts that were sent our way! They were greatly appreciated!

We are back and we are doing well, though energy levels are still somewhat low.
Life is needing most of my attention at the moment and I'm sorry that posting and blog visiting has been just that little bit out of my reach.

Things might remain quite for a little longer, because....
Next week our home is being invaded by circus freaks from all over Australia (and some from overseas, too)!! We are having a catch up / reunion and for some of us it has been almost 10 years since we last got to play!!
It is very, very exciting and I am even looking forward to having 30+ people camping out in my backyard and fighting over the bathroom. (Man, we really are freaks!)

Thank you again for your kewl thoughts... I hope everyone out here in the bloggoshpere (Jeanie, is that a word?) is well and I can't wait to catch up as soon as time and energy are willing.