Booty Call

8:30pm

Mobile phone rings

Unknown number

Me, ".... Hello..?"

Telemarketer, ".................................................. Hello. Mrs [Insert badly pronounced surname here]?"

Me, "Maybe.... What are you selling....?"

Telemarketer, "Congratulation! (No, that's not a typo, he said congratulation without the s) You have been randomly selected to receive a free anniversary gift from company X [I asked said company to join us for this blog post, sadly, they declined).

Me, "Oooohhh a freebie! My husband will be thrilled when he forgets to buy me something!"

Telemarketer, "You can have an anniversary night to remember with our free sample of [some drug thing that enhances sexual function in men]."

Me, "No way!!! Really?!?!"

Telemarketer, "Yes. Let me tell you a bit about our product. It is all natur...."

Me, "Mate - If you can give my husband a hard on for the night, I will give you a million dollars!"

Telemarketer, "Er... What is his dysfunction?"

Me, "Death."

[Silence]

Me, "What...... Is that a problem?"

Telemarketer, "Umm.. Sorry to bother you..."

[Dial tone]

Honestly... Telemarketers these days have no stamina.

9 comments:

BUSH BABE said...

Oh Lord - this even made me giggle the second time around. You are outrageous! I bet that dude is scarred for life..
:-)
BB

jeanie said...

That is what you call Laydown Misere (and I wonder what the telemarketer's blog post looks like this morning?)

katepickle said...

ROFL... that is the best telemarketer comeback I've EVER heard!!! fabulous!

Anna said...

This is just the laugh I needed tonight!

peskypixies said...

That is fabulous!!!!!!!
what a comeback!!!!ROFL!!!

MissyBoo said...

Exactly what every telemarketer deserves :)

Debby said...

I just can't get over the fact that telemarketers can contact you on your cell phones. They can't here. Yet.

Fe said...

Oh.My.God.

Briliant! Bloody brilliant!!

I'll remember it next time I get hassled by one of those telemarketers. I wonder if "Divorce" will have quite the same impact!

xoxo

Iris Flavia said...

!!!! Very well done!!! :-))
(Stepping in from MissyBoo´s place)