Musical Madness

Miss J decided to write a song about me today. Last time she wrote a song it was about her two "might as well be" brothers - Mr R and TJ. It was stunningly beautiful and made every adult who heard it cry. So when she said she was writing a song about me, to be honest, I had high hopes.

Her brow wrinkled with concentration and she surveyed me with her bright blue eyes. Her head tilted to the left a little and her index finger found her chin in a gesture of thoughtfulness.

"Ummm...."

Yes my darling child? What wondrous words of insight and beauty do you wish to lay upon me?

"Can I stand on the kitchen table? I need a different perspective."

Oh. Sure.

She climbed up onto her podium the table and fixed her gaze not on me, but instead on the top of the fridge.
Her eyes lit up and a big grin spread across her face as inspiration came to her and words of adoration (ahem) sprang into her mind.

Having attracted the attention of her siblings, Mary Poppins and Aunty Sammi, Miss J's audience gathered and anticipation filled the air.

I was a little taken aback when she announced it would be to the tune of, "On Top of Old Smoky", but you know what, tune isn't really important - it's the thought that really counts...

With a twinkle in her eye, she began...

On top of the freeeeeeeeeeeezer..... Where no one can seeeeeeeeeeeee,
My mum keeps her choooooooooocolaaaaaate...... An addict is sheeeeeeeeee.

Chocolate's her liiiiiiiiiiife liiiiiiiine..... All day and all niiiiiiiiiiiight,
And if her stash ruuuuuuns oooooouuuuuut..... Be prepared for a friiiiiight!

'Cause my mum's quite scaaaaaaaaaary..... As scary can beeeeeeeeee,
When she has no chooooooooocolaaaaaaaaate..... And bad PMT-eeeeeeeee.

So take this fair waaaaaaaarniiiiiiiiing..... From someone who knooooooooows,
Step away from the choooooooocolaaaate..... Before mum explooooooodes!

And if you get caaaaaaught oooooouuuut..... Stealing from her staaaash,
I'd get out of tooooooooooooo-oooooooown...... And never come baaaaaaaack!