Tell me again

"Mummy?"

"Yes Miss V?"

"Tell me the story of when daddy died?"

"In the morning, early early early, even before the sun was up, daddy started poking me in the ribs to wake me up. He poked, then he tickled, then he started jumping up and down like a frog on the bed to get my attention. When I was awake he lay down next to me and said, "Guess what? We're pregnant!!!" ... And he was right! You were a teeny tiny little baby growing in my tummy, and your daddy knew all about you..."

"Even before you told him.."

"That's right, even before I told him! After lunch daddy had to go to his deli to make some food and drink some coffee. He left in his car, then he came back again because he wanted to tell you how much he loved you, and he did that by rubbing my tummy. Then he left in his car again... Then he came back AGAIN to tell you he loved you even MORE!!! He left again and this time he called us on the phone as soon as he got to the deli to tell us all that he loved us all very very very very very very much. He called lots and lots and lots that day..."

"Every half an hour all afternoon..."

"... Every Half hour, all afternoon. On his way home, dad stopped at the shops to get some chocolate so that we could all celebrate our teeny tiny baby growing in my tummy. It was after J and F's bedtime and daddy knew that, so he called from the car to say please please please could we all get up again so we can have a Miss V party with him! He was so very happy and so very excited about his teeny tiny jelly baby."

"Me!"

"You, Miss V! There was another man driving home that night, too. He had made some bad choices that evening and his body wasn't very good at driving. The man wasn't paying enough attention and so he caused a car accident. He drove into daddy's car and there was a big crash. Cars are big and heavy and much tougher than people, so when they crashed together daddy's body got broken and stopped working..."

"... And that's when he died."

"Yes, that's when he died. But daddy is always always always so very excited about his teeny tiny baby V, he is always celebrating your life and all we have to do to celebrate with him is wake up and think of chocolate! And you know the very best bit, Miss V?"

"Daddy is happy because he knows that we know he loves us lots, and lots, and lots, and LOTS!"

"And lots and lots and lots!"

.....

"Mum?"

"Yes Miss V?"

"Tell me again?"

Bless you

Mary Poppins was having dinner with us last night and we were up to desert when she said, "This chocolate is orgasmic!" Naturally the girls asked what 'orgasmic' meant so she explained that it is from the word orgasm and left it at that, hoping that they would ask what orgasm meant. Of course, they asked, and MP said, "Ask your mother." I threatened MP with making sure she didn't get any 'chocolate' for a month if she didn't finish what she started, so she explained to the girls that an orgasm was something adults had from sex - kind of like a sneeze because there is a build up and a release, only it happens to your entire body.
So this morning at the coffee shop, when I sneezed, I really shouldn't have been so surprised when Miss J asked (on the top of her voice), "Did you just orgasm mum?

Where, oh where, is the snooze button?

3am....
Miss V, "Mu-um, is it time to get up yet?"
Me, "So not even half way close, darling."

3:15am....
Miss V, "Mu-um, is the sun even close to getting up yet?"
Me, "No way, I say."

3:30am....
Miss V, "How about now, mum?..... Mum?"
Me, "How about some more sleep Miss V..."

3:45am.....
Miss V, "Mum! MUM LOOK! I see the sun!"
Me, "The sun is still sleeping Vay. Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeping."
Miss V, "I know. I was tricking."

4am....
Miss V, "Mu-um.... Mu-um.... Mu-um!"
Me, "Yeeeesssssss....."
Miss V, "Now is it almost close to getting up time?"
Me, "Noooooooo....."

4:10am....
Miss V, "Mummy... I love you. Can we get up now?"
Me, "I love you too. Go back to sleep."
Miss V, "Mum!"
Me, *snoring noises*

4:15am....
Miss V, "Mummy, I'm going to go and make you breakfast in bed until it bes time to get up, ok mum?"
Me, "Ok darling."

4:16am......
Miss V, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Me, *sprinting to the kitchen* "Miss V! What's wrong?"
Miss V, "There's..... *sob* ..... No...... *sob* ......... M-m-m-mmmmiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllllkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk........ WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Me, "We don't drink milk, Miss V...."
Miss V, "I know. I was just tricking."
Me, "Bed. Sleep. Now."
Miss V, "Try and use full sentences, mum. It's easier to understand you then...."

4:30am.....
Miss V, "Mum I really can see sun now! LOOK!"
Me, "Why don't you tell it a story about a sleepy possum and her sleepy mum?"
Miss V, "Naahhh. Why don't you get up?"
Me, "Ok. Let's get up."
Miss V, "No just you mum. Not me. I go be sleep now. Night mum."
Me, "Night Miss V." *Blissful relaxing sleepy wave just about to wash over me*

4:31am.....
Miss J, "Morning mum!"
Miss F, "Hi mum! It's time to get up now!"
Miss V, "Shhhh! I'm sleeping! Go be away now!"

.... And so, Miss J, Miss F and mummy went away to have a very wakeful morning while Miss V enjoyed a very restful sleep in.

That night, when mummy was very very tired and struggling to keep her head out of her dinner, Miss V offered her some advice....

"Mum? You look tired. Are you tired? I think you are tired mum. Mum? Do you think that maybe you are too tired now because you might not have maybe given yourself enough sleep last night? That is probably the reason, isn't it mum? So mum, do you think it would be a good idea to go to bed early tonight so you will be awake-er more tomorrow? You're boring when you're tired mum. You need more sleep so you be funny again. Go to bed early tonight mum. But not yet, you better do the dishes first. Ok mum?"

Ok, Miss V.

Freaky Home Learner's Enriching Activity

Miss J, "Mum, I'm bored."
Me, "Pardon?"
Miss J, "I'm bored."
Me, "Sorry?"
Miss J, "I'm bored, mum."
Me, "Say that again? I don't understand you?"
Miss J, "Mum! I'm! BORED!"
Me, (Squinting at her)..... "But you don't look like a board....." (Taking her hand and shaking it so her whole arm wobbles) "And you don't feel like a board...." (Licking the side of her face) "Yuck, you certainly don't taste like a board....."
Miss J, "No mum, that's not what I mean!"
Me, "Oh! Well what do you mean?"

Miss J, "I mean my mind is becoming restless from lack of stimulation and I would like an enriching activity to focus my thoughts on before I lose all ability to concentrate and my body becomes too fatigued to embrace any action!"

Me, "Oh. I see. Um, how old are you again?"
Miss J, *Sigh* "I'm four and 3 twelfths, mum."
Me, "Right. Just checking. So an enriching activity to focus your thoughts on, hey?"
Miss J, "Yep..."
Me, "Well, we could go for a walk and see how many fairies we can spot.... Or we could go take some photos.... Or we could...."
Miss J, "Oooh! Oooh! I know!!!!!! We can go pick our noses and feed it to the dog!"
Me, "....... Umm...... You go, I'll keep thinking."

No frills breakfast

Miss F has taken fussy eating to a whole new level today. When I presented her with her breakfast - her gluten free, lactose free, nut free, vegetarian, nutritious and very tasty breakfast, no less - she pushed it away, stuck her nose in the air and said, "Mum, I couldn't possibly eat this."

When I asked her why not, she replied, "It's just not pretty enough."

Shared learning - Best of

Miss V, "What are those birds doing?"
Miss J, "They're mating."
Miss V, "Are they friends?"
Miss J, "No they are having sex. Animal sex is called mating."
Miss V, "Do people have mating?"
Miss J, "No V, people have sex. Animals mate."
Miss V, "But why is it called different?"
Miss J, "Ummmm......................... Because people are sexier than animals."
Miss V, "Ohhhhhhh."

Life's Funny Like That!

Pip...
RAY!

Pip...
RAY!!

Pip...
RAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bestest party vibes from me and the Kewl girls to Deb... Who's going a final round with chemo on Thursday, and boy does she kick some serious chemo butt!!!

Deb, I don't know if you remember back when you first posted a picture of yourself on your blog... After seeing it Miss F decided she would call you the "pretty garden lady". I had forgotten about it myself until today, when I was explaining this post to Miss F and telling her how you are a warrior woman, and she replied, "Oh! I remember! The pretty garden lady warrior!"

And... I know I've missed some big chunks in your butt kicking journey, but Deb, my butt kicking boots have been with you the whole time.

Way to kick butt, woman.