Upside Town

Another Friday, another Photo Challenge!

This week was a collaborative effort on our part.
First, I took the girls to our town market last Sunday.
Then, Miss V insisted we ditch the crowds for a while and roam free on the oval.
Then, Miss F put her photographer's hat on and captured eleventy-hundred more than a few images.
And finally, Miss J asked Sammi the crazy graphic chick to teach her how to make funny photos on the computer.

Sammi taught her the 'hysterical giggle inducing' trick of turning photos upside down, and when Miss J tried it on some of Miss F's town market photos, my 4yo sense of humor kicked in and dubbed this one, "Upside Town" (It's so lame, it's actually funny... Right?!)

Photo Challenge Friday is hosted by the gorgeous Mountaingirl from Mountaingirls Musings.

Sale

We had to go to the shops yesterday to get the Kewl girls a new t-shirt each. I don't particularly enjoy shopping and the girls don't particularly need new t-shirts, but last week we learned about "bets", and of course, being all about 'practical learning' I made a bet with Miss F...
I said, "I bet it will rain only 2 days this week, and she said, "I bet it will rain every day this week."

Apparently the weather God's like Miss F better.

It rained everyday and Miss F won a shopping trip worth a new t-shirt of her choosing for her and her sisters. To be honest, I was actually quite happy about Miss F's choice of betting stakes - Not the shopping part, but the part where she wanted to choose something for her sister's, too!

So yesterday we wandered into Miss F's favourite clothes shop, Miss F on a mission and leading the way, Miss J, Miss V and I happy to hang back and leave the expert to it.
Naturally, Miss F selected the most gorgeous and most expensive top in the entire world store for herself. (But it's not about the money, right?!) She then proceeded to hold various garments up to Miss J, making comments like, "No, this colour does nothing for your eyes," and, "Oh yuck, this cut is less than flattering," before finally selecting, "A rather elegant vest in a brilliant shade of aquamarine, because it makes her eyes look spectac-li-ar!"

Great! Two down, one to go.

Now, Miss J is quite used to her sister's rather, er - strong - passion for fashion. She is usually quite happy to let Miss F take hold of the reins and steer her toward particular clothing choices, and long as she can choose her own accessories, she is happy.
Miss V, however, is not quite so open to her big sister's 'direction' (well OK - Miss V likes what she likes and couldn't care less about Miss F's 'fashionable' opinion), so Miss F wanting to choose a shirt for her little sister was a lot like taking a recipe for disaster, throwing all the ingredients into a container and shaking it.

Violently.

From the first shirt Miss F pulled off the rack, Miss V was determined to exercise her vocabulary of 'negative connotations'. Unless of course, Miss F didn't like something, in which case Miss V thought it was simply divine.
After about 20 minutes of conflicting opinions and Miss F trying in vain to make her sister surrender to her obviously superior knowledge, taste and overall supremeness find something they both liked - Miss F was over it.

She looked at her sister, then looked at me, then looked back at her sister, then looked back at me, sighed, and said, "You know, sometimes I just can't believe she's actually related to me."

Oh dear.

Just as I was about to attempt an intervention, Miss V pointed to a t-shirt on a manaquin and exclaimed, "Oh kewl! I want that one!!!"

To my complete astonishment, Miss F looked at the t-shirt for a moment, before a huge grin spread across her face and, matching her little sister's enthusiasm, she exclaimed, "Oh! It's perfect!!!"

To my dismay, this was shortly followed by, "And you can stand in our window when we get home!"

You see, Miss V didn't point to just any t-shirt... She pointed to the bright red one, with big, bold, white writing on the front...

The one advertising, "SALE - 25% OFF!"

And I'm almost certain that if she had been allowed, Miss F would have put her sister in the window, sold her to the highest (ie, first) bidder, and used the money to go shopping.

*Sigh*

You know, sometimes I just can't believe she's actually related to me...

Warrior Wednesday

Dear Zy,

This week has been kind of an inside week for us - not because we've stayed inside, but because we've been ignoring the outside world. It's been all about finding joy again within our close family unit.

One of my favourite days was yesterday. It was a beautiful Queensland day - blue sky, warm sun and an abundance of delightful sights and sounds and smells. We spent almost the whole day outside celebrating our 'inside' week, and after lunch Miss J asked if we could do something to celebrate with you, too. There was a light breeze around that tickled my nose and whispered in my ear... "Bubbles..... Bubbles....!!" So I raided the kitchen for dishwashing liquid and found a couple of bubble makers, then we got stuck into cele-bubbling with you.

A smile made of love and magic spread across my face and my heart as the Kewl girls blew bubbles high into the sky, and the breeze carried them away to you. About half an hour into our cele-bubbling, Miss V called out, "Look mum! Zy blew a bubble back! And it's a love heart!!!"

My logical mind was about to kick in and explain why bubbles couldn't be in the shape of hearts, bla bla bla... But the brightness of Miss V's face distracted me for long enough to appreciate the moment, and cast my eyes skywards.

Then I called out, "Miss J, Miss F, look! Zy blew a bubble back to us! And it's a love heart!!!"



We all watched as a single bubble, shaped like a love heart, floated gently down from the sky. It danced around our heads long enough to tickle some tears from my eyes, then the Kewl girls blew some more bubbles to keep your heart company, and they all flew back up to the sky with you.

Oh Zy - Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us. I always love seeing you and sharing moments with you, and yesterday you helped me find my light hearted, joyful space again, too.
See you again soon.

Love me.

Newness

In an attempt to separate more of my thoughts into neat little boxes and have a place to put them outside of my pretty jam packed head space, I have created two new blogs.

One Second will focus on Safe Driving Awareness. With some time and energy I hope that this blog will facilitate discussion, help change the way we view dangerous driving and promote a zero tolerance attitude toward ourselves and others.
It is still in early development and much of the content is still in thought form, so if you are interested do keep checking back for updates.

The second new creation is more a spur of the moment kind of thing. In a moment of intense grief, I created a space to keep the boxes that are for Daddy Kewl. He will always be part of our lives, and I will still share our moments here on the Kewl blog, but there are some things that aren't child friendly or love light and bliss - and I need a different place for them.
Always Kewl is a private blog, but only to limit the arrival of Google Freaks and unwelcome comments - and mostly - just because when it comes to Daddy Kewl, I am a massive control freak.
I can't say it will be a fun blog, but I can say you're welcome to join us. Just leave a comment (here) so I can invite you.

Honestly, I'm feeling pretty exhausted at the moment. I'm hoping these new blogs will help me find some clear head space, but they could just as easily prove to be a result of puffy eyed sleep deprevation and not continue much past the first few posts.
Either way, we'll keep celebrating the moments and if they make it to blogland, even better!!!

Domestic

Today is Photo Challenge day over at Mountaingirls Musings, and the theme this week is Domestic.
Our contribution is the result of Miss V's quest to read (and follow) a recipe by herself. She was going great, until she got to the line that said, "Add 5 eggs"....

My Dad vs Your Dad

We went to the park again today, and I think Miss J decided that if her twin sister could have a "death" moment - She could, too.

Miss J was waiting patiently (as patiently as 4 and a half year old's can be, anyway) for her turn to go down the slide. There was another child at the bottom of the slide making a sandcastle.
Miss J said, "Excuse me please!"
The other child ignored her.
Miss J, getting frustrated, said, "Move please!"
Still nothing.
So Miss J started sliding and said, "I'm coming down!"

Upon reaching the bottom of the slide, the other child stood in front of Miss J, stopping her from getting off the slide and most likely treading on the sandcastle.

Miss J, already annoyed, said, "MOVE!"
The other child, also annoyed at being interrupted, said, "NO!"
Miss J, now very annoyed, said, "Move or I will push you!"
The other child said, "You can't do that or I will tell my daddy and he will get you in trouble!"

Miss J said, "Yeah, well if you don't move I will tell my daddy and he will haunt you!!"

I believe Miss J's Daddy won this round...

Bang Bang - Your Spirit is Eternal

At the park today...

A boy comes running out from behind the slide with his hand aimed at Miss F, gun style, and yells,

"Bang! Bang! You're dead!"

Miss F looks up and replies calmly,

"No, you can't kill me - My spirit is eternal."

Confused, the boy says,

"That's not how you play. You're supposed to run away or I'll shoot you."

Miss F stands tall, and from the same calm space, she replies once more,

"I'm not scared of you. And I'm not scared of dieing."

---

For most of the girls' lives, Daddy Kewl has been with us only 'in spirit'. To us, this means that even though we talk to him often, we feel him close to us and we look out for signs from him, telling us the he loves us and he is here - He will only ever be here in spirit, because he died, and that means that he doesn't have a body any more.
Last year the girls' surrogate baby brother died, too, and even though we talk to him, feel him close to us, and look out for signs from him telling us that he loves us and he is here - He will only ever be here in spirit, just like Daddy Kewl.

Having two people very close to them 'in spirit' has effected the Kewl girls. There are many ways to think about this, depending on your beliefes, but I believe it has heightened their sense of spiritual 'connectedness'.

Sometimes this is hard and confusing, and it causes them deep pain. These are the times when I wish that the girls didn't have so much death in their life experience. I wish that they didn't have to be so aware or have such a developed understanding of what 'in spirit' means (to us). It's also at these times when I start to question whether or not I am doing the right thing by explaining my beliefes to them. Sometimes I even start to wonder whether they would be better off believing that when you're dead, you're dead. That's it. Lights out. All over.

Then there are the times, like today, that tell me we are on the right track. Times when I feel reassured and in a sense relieved, that I am doing the right thing. Times when I think that we are incredibly blessed to have the spiritual knowledge, understanding and life experience that we do. After all, we have some pretty magical moments thanks to our connections 'in spirit' - and even though it's not the same as sharing our lives with the living, breathing, physical beings that we miss so dearly - it is far, far better than not sharing anything at all.

Today has reminded me to trust myself a little more - to keep following what feels right and trust that I know what is right for my girls, too.
It has also made me quietly proud that in all the trauma and heart ache of Daddy Kewl and Baby Warrior dieing - Miss F stands tall - Calm and unafraid, with the knowledge that her spirit is eternal.