We (myself, the three Kewl girls and a Mary Poppins freak) had a 2 and a half hour road trip today. Well, it was three hours really, by the time you factor in 50 gazillion toilet stops. (For me, that is, not the girls!)
As a touring freak, I spent a lot of time on the road and I got very good at amusing myself with travel games. One of my favourites was, and still is, license plate words. That is - taking the three letters from a passing license plate and coming up with a phase using words beginning with each letter.
Today, about an hour into our trip, we turned off the busy main roads and began winding our way inland. This is my favourite kind of travel - removed enough to be quiet, but not so isolated that it becomes unnerving. The passing traffic dwindled in volume until there was just one car every 10 minutes or so, and a calm settled over the car. The girls either window gazed or amused themselves quietly and Mary Poppins and I enjoyed the greening landscape after too many days in the city.
It was just lovely, being with my four favourite women in the world, all drifting with our own thoughts. I must have been a good few miles away when the bright red shine of a car approaching in the opposite direction caught my eye and drew me back to the present moment. As it got closer, more out of habit than anything else, I looked for the 3 letters on the license plate.
ZSH
My thoughts went immediately to Z.
Z is for Zy.
Then I wondered if maybe it was Zy saying hello...
H... Hello...
Hmm. Of course it was.
ZSH - Zy Says Hi.
By the time my thoughts rested on this the car had long passed - but I said it aloud, anyway. And so Did Mary Poppins.
In perfect sync, we both said softly, "Zy Says Hi".
Naturally, when the next car approached we were both ready and waiting to catch the license plate.
LIZ
Again we spoke softly and in unison,
"Look! It's Zy."
When we spotted the next car in the distance their was absolutely no doubt in our minds that Zy would say hello again.
And he did.
As the car drew closer I drew myself up tall in my seat. Once more we spotted the letters at the same time and once more we spoke in perfect unison -
HFZ
"Hi From Zy."
We didn't pass any more cars again before it was time for another loo stop, and so a break in our momentum - but I didn't need any more confirmation that our little Warrior was in the car with us today.
Thank you, darling Zy.
I will always be watching and listening for you.
For Zy, Our Warrior
Once upon a chocolate rainbow, there lived two candy clouds called Pink M and Blue M.
Pink M wasn't always called Pink M - because she wasn't always pink! When she was a small sugar puff cloud, her soft, warm, marshmallow centre was covered in a thin white fairy floss icing. Her colour was quite magical, because it came from the love that spread over her entire cloud body, the very first time she saw her candy man cloud - Blue M.
Blue M got his colour from the deep blue sea, where he spent many of his days bobbing up and down like a tic tac in teacup. When he saw the beautiful rosy glow of Pink M, floating high above the chocolate rainbow, Blue M shook the deep blue ocean drops from his cloudy eyes and watered his way up to the deep blue sky, where he and Pink M became a sweet like sugar Candy Couple.
Together they spent their days floating along the chocolate rainbow, sprinkling a little sugar here and scattering some cinnamon starlets there, until one day they noticed something strange. Although they both had baskets full of the sweetest sensations imaginable, they both also had strange feelings bubbling up from their soft marshmallow cloud centres and making their outer candy colours run and drip and fade.
"My basket feels empty!" said Pink M, "Even though it looks full."
"Mine, too!" agreed Blue M. "And look! Every time I try to pick up some sweetness, it just slips right through my fingers."
The Candy Couple floated still for a while, in quiet contemplation, until finally Blue M said, "Maybe if we had someone to share our sweetness with - our own precious little sugar puff cloud - maybe then your basket wouldn't feel so empty and my sugar crystals wouldn't slip from my fingers so quickly."
"I think you're right, Blue M," said Pink M. "But how can we ever have our own sugar puff cloud when we don't have a baby basket to grow one in?"
Blue M thought so hard that his thought bubble burst and it showered drops of left over blue ocean onto the rainbow underneath him. He tried thinking again, but when he still could not come up with an answer, more blue ocean drops began falling from his eyes.
"Maybe it is just not meant to be," said Pink M.
As she spoke, big, fat, salty tears began rolling down her pink cloud cheeks, stripping them of their colour and sweetness, and running away into the sky.
"Hey!" cried a voice from not too far away. "Where are these pink and blue polka dots coming from?!"
It was the Candy Couple's friend, Chocolate Freckle.
"I have enough sweet spots without yours as well, my Candy friends. Stop with your crying already and pass me the chocolate! Then you had better get your sugar puff sprinkles together, because I have a baby basket but not enough ingredients to put in it. We can can grow your very own sugar puff cloud in there!"
And so, Pink M and Blue M mixed up all the sweet-essentials for their very own sugar puff cloud and they put them into Chocolate Freckle's baby basket, where something very magical happened...
The sweetest, most perfect little sugar puff cloud began to grow!!
He was a precious purple mix of Pink M and Blue M, with a soft centre and sweet iced coating, and he had magnificent, brightly coloured polka dot freckles from his Chocolate Freckle growing basket.
Everyone waited impatiently as the magical sweetness swirled it's way around the baby sugar puff cloud in his borrowed baby basket. Then the baby sugar puff cloud became impatient too! He decided he had had enough of basket weaving magic and he wanted to come out and weave some more magic of his own!
The little sugar puff cloud left his baby basket and he entered a new world - A world that wasn't ready for his love, or his magic, or his sweetness.
Or his brightly coloured polka dot freckles!
No, the outside world was not made for the little baby puff cloud, and it was so very cruel to him. It made fun of his polka dot freckles and it attacked his sweetness. It tore holes in his soft, white cloud wisps and it tried to drip horrible, dark, stinky negativity into his wounds.
But the outside world underestimated the little baby sugar puff cloud.
He had a whole lot more than a soft white marshmallow heart...
He had a mighty warrior heart!
For 26 hours he battled, and even as the harshness of the outside world slowly destroyed his sugar puff cloud body, something else - something so very magical - was happening.
The outside world could melt his polka dot freckles and suck out his marshmallow centre, but there was nothing in the whole entire universe that could fade his magic, his light or his love.
With each moment that passed the wisps of his cloud body fell away, but the light from his warrior heart was growing stronger and stronger and stronger. It was brilliant and bright and white, and it beamed out from his warrior heart, filling all of the other hearts in the world with his sweet sugary goodness, until finally his own heart did not need to beat any more, because it was beating inside the hearts of all of the people who loved him.
The Warrior's sugar puff cloud is gone now, but we don't need his body to have him with us.
Listen carefully to the silence, and you will hear his magic.
Look up into the sky at night time, and you will see his light and all of the other star hearts that are twinkling for him.
Best of all, put your hand on your own heart, and you will feel the beating of his love.
~*~
Four weeks ago, our little warrior's body drifted away...
But his magic still surrounds us,
His light continues to shine in our world,
And his love will always beat with our hearts.
For Baby Zy,
With all of our love.
Pink M wasn't always called Pink M - because she wasn't always pink! When she was a small sugar puff cloud, her soft, warm, marshmallow centre was covered in a thin white fairy floss icing. Her colour was quite magical, because it came from the love that spread over her entire cloud body, the very first time she saw her candy man cloud - Blue M.
Blue M got his colour from the deep blue sea, where he spent many of his days bobbing up and down like a tic tac in teacup. When he saw the beautiful rosy glow of Pink M, floating high above the chocolate rainbow, Blue M shook the deep blue ocean drops from his cloudy eyes and watered his way up to the deep blue sky, where he and Pink M became a sweet like sugar Candy Couple.
Together they spent their days floating along the chocolate rainbow, sprinkling a little sugar here and scattering some cinnamon starlets there, until one day they noticed something strange. Although they both had baskets full of the sweetest sensations imaginable, they both also had strange feelings bubbling up from their soft marshmallow cloud centres and making their outer candy colours run and drip and fade.
"My basket feels empty!" said Pink M, "Even though it looks full."
"Mine, too!" agreed Blue M. "And look! Every time I try to pick up some sweetness, it just slips right through my fingers."
The Candy Couple floated still for a while, in quiet contemplation, until finally Blue M said, "Maybe if we had someone to share our sweetness with - our own precious little sugar puff cloud - maybe then your basket wouldn't feel so empty and my sugar crystals wouldn't slip from my fingers so quickly."
"I think you're right, Blue M," said Pink M. "But how can we ever have our own sugar puff cloud when we don't have a baby basket to grow one in?"
Blue M thought so hard that his thought bubble burst and it showered drops of left over blue ocean onto the rainbow underneath him. He tried thinking again, but when he still could not come up with an answer, more blue ocean drops began falling from his eyes.
"Maybe it is just not meant to be," said Pink M.
As she spoke, big, fat, salty tears began rolling down her pink cloud cheeks, stripping them of their colour and sweetness, and running away into the sky.
"Hey!" cried a voice from not too far away. "Where are these pink and blue polka dots coming from?!"
It was the Candy Couple's friend, Chocolate Freckle.
"I have enough sweet spots without yours as well, my Candy friends. Stop with your crying already and pass me the chocolate! Then you had better get your sugar puff sprinkles together, because I have a baby basket but not enough ingredients to put in it. We can can grow your very own sugar puff cloud in there!"
And so, Pink M and Blue M mixed up all the sweet-essentials for their very own sugar puff cloud and they put them into Chocolate Freckle's baby basket, where something very magical happened...
The sweetest, most perfect little sugar puff cloud began to grow!!
He was a precious purple mix of Pink M and Blue M, with a soft centre and sweet iced coating, and he had magnificent, brightly coloured polka dot freckles from his Chocolate Freckle growing basket.
Everyone waited impatiently as the magical sweetness swirled it's way around the baby sugar puff cloud in his borrowed baby basket. Then the baby sugar puff cloud became impatient too! He decided he had had enough of basket weaving magic and he wanted to come out and weave some more magic of his own!
The little sugar puff cloud left his baby basket and he entered a new world - A world that wasn't ready for his love, or his magic, or his sweetness.
Or his brightly coloured polka dot freckles!
No, the outside world was not made for the little baby puff cloud, and it was so very cruel to him. It made fun of his polka dot freckles and it attacked his sweetness. It tore holes in his soft, white cloud wisps and it tried to drip horrible, dark, stinky negativity into his wounds.
But the outside world underestimated the little baby sugar puff cloud.
He had a whole lot more than a soft white marshmallow heart...
He had a mighty warrior heart!
For 26 hours he battled, and even as the harshness of the outside world slowly destroyed his sugar puff cloud body, something else - something so very magical - was happening.
The outside world could melt his polka dot freckles and suck out his marshmallow centre, but there was nothing in the whole entire universe that could fade his magic, his light or his love.
With each moment that passed the wisps of his cloud body fell away, but the light from his warrior heart was growing stronger and stronger and stronger. It was brilliant and bright and white, and it beamed out from his warrior heart, filling all of the other hearts in the world with his sweet sugary goodness, until finally his own heart did not need to beat any more, because it was beating inside the hearts of all of the people who loved him.
The Warrior's sugar puff cloud is gone now, but we don't need his body to have him with us.
Listen carefully to the silence, and you will hear his magic.
Look up into the sky at night time, and you will see his light and all of the other star hearts that are twinkling for him.
Best of all, put your hand on your own heart, and you will feel the beating of his love.
~*~
Four weeks ago, our little warrior's body drifted away...
But his magic still surrounds us,
His light continues to shine in our world,
And his love will always beat with our hearts.
For Baby Zy,
With all of our love.
Freak Fest - Week 5 - and feeling like the mother of all freaks
This week, I thought I would share with you some of the things I've found myself screaming saying during Freak Fest thus far...
"Please do not eat any more worms before lunch."
"No guinea pigs on the dinner table!"
"OK - Who's been swallowing my good kitchen knives?"
"How did Uncle Freak's false teeth end up around that brush turkey's neck?"
"Who left their unicycle on the roof again?"
"No, I do not know where you can buy 50 bottles of dish washing liquid and 2 dozen boxes of condoms."
"And even if I did know - I wouldn't tell you."
"Please get down from the tree - The neighbours do not want to see your full moon."
"Darling, the dam is not a good place for my keys."
"Oh no.. Please don't walk wet paint through the house again."
"No you cannot move into the cubby house. And no, I do not plan to install satellite TV there any time soon."
"Accidentally stepping on the smouldering camp fire in the middle of the night because you're disoriented and trying to find your way to the toilet - Is NOT the same as completing.. 'the sickest fire walk ever, man!' .. But nice try."
"For the last time - The washing line is not a tightrope!"
"Please.. If you're going to cartwheel down the main street in town, trade your skirt for some pants... Or at least, put on some underwear."
Oh - And not a single sentence was directed to my children...
Or indeed, anyone under 25.
"Please do not eat any more worms before lunch."
"No guinea pigs on the dinner table!"
"OK - Who's been swallowing my good kitchen knives?"
"How did Uncle Freak's false teeth end up around that brush turkey's neck?"
"Who left their unicycle on the roof again?"
"No, I do not know where you can buy 50 bottles of dish washing liquid and 2 dozen boxes of condoms."
"And even if I did know - I wouldn't tell you."
"Please get down from the tree - The neighbours do not want to see your full moon."
"Darling, the dam is not a good place for my keys."
"Oh no.. Please don't walk wet paint through the house again."
"No you cannot move into the cubby house. And no, I do not plan to install satellite TV there any time soon."
"Accidentally stepping on the smouldering camp fire in the middle of the night because you're disoriented and trying to find your way to the toilet - Is NOT the same as completing.. 'the sickest fire walk ever, man!' .. But nice try."
"For the last time - The washing line is not a tightrope!"
"Please.. If you're going to cartwheel down the main street in town, trade your skirt for some pants... Or at least, put on some underwear."
Oh - And not a single sentence was directed to my children...
Or indeed, anyone under 25.
Friends
The kewl girls and I went to a Special Education School today. I had to drop in to pick up some equipment I left behind last time and the girls wanted to come too. We got there just before lunch and even though I did what I needed to do in 5 minutes, the kewl girls stayed and played happily with their friends all the way through lunch break and into the next lesson!
As we were leaving we bumped into Mrs. E, a teacher and ex colleague from the State School next door. We exchanged how are yous and then she turned her attention to the kewl girls.
Even though Mrs. E was the certified 'teacher' in the group, I think the kewl girls did most of the teaching in their conversation today...
As we were leaving we bumped into Mrs. E, a teacher and ex colleague from the State School next door. We exchanged how are yous and then she turned her attention to the kewl girls.
Even though Mrs. E was the certified 'teacher' in the group, I think the kewl girls did most of the teaching in their conversation today...
Mrs. E: "Aren't you lucky girls, going to work with mum?"
Miss J: "We didn't go to work. We went to school."
Mrs. E: "Of course you did! Silly me! Do you like going to school with mum?"
Miss F: "Yes, it's fun."
Mrs. E: "How lovely. And do you play with the little disabled kiddies?"
Miss F: "No."
Mrs. E: "No?! Don't you play with any disabled children at special school?"
Miss J: "No."
Miss V: "No."
Mrs. E: "Well what do you do then?"
Miss V: "We play with our friends."
Miss F: "Yeah.. We play with our friends."
Of course. Silly Mrs. E.
Freak Fest - Lessons from Week 3 and Week 4
Week 3...
When a little girl tells her new favourite uncle that her favourite colour is pink and her favourite animal is her white pony - Do not be surprised if you wake up the next morning to find said white pony has turned a brilliant shade of magenta.
Also, do not be surprised if there are no beetroots left within a 10km radius.
If someone tells you to "lighten up", do not reply "make me". Unless you want to be woken at 3am by 4 spotlights shining into your tent.
Circus freaks do not make good show and tell guests. Especially when you're a teacher, not a student, and the freaks rock up to class wearing t-shirts that read, "I was born smart, but education ruined me."
Week 4...
If, whilst you are grocery shopping in town, you see 6 freaks flash past on a ride on mower that looks an awful lot like your own - It probably is.
It is also probably best to walk very quickly in the opposite direction.
When your children call to you, "Mum! Quick! Freaky Uncle has four fingers stuck up his nose!"... They are probably not lying.
Especially if Freaky Uncle was last seen with the super glue.
A freak attempting to contort herself into a kitchen cupboard because another freak says "I bet you can't fit in there any more".... Is probably not going to end well.
But it will probably be very entertaining.
Today...
We are home. We are adjusting. We are celebrating the joyous moments and allowing time for the crappy moments to pass.
I am under close observation by Miss J after getting into trouble for not taking small enough bites of my apple... "Baby can't swallow big bits mum! You'll choke him!"
Miss F has taken it upon herself to educate the world as to how babies are born. I just know the doctor was thrilled to learn that... "Baby is going to come out of mum's vagina, you know."
Miss V is refusing to eat watermelon after one of the freaks convinced her that Baby is actually a watermelon growing in my tummy - because I swallowed a pip and drank lots of water to make it grow.
Most importantly...
Thank you for the supportive comments and good vibes.
They are better than chocolate!
When a little girl tells her new favourite uncle that her favourite colour is pink and her favourite animal is her white pony - Do not be surprised if you wake up the next morning to find said white pony has turned a brilliant shade of magenta.
Also, do not be surprised if there are no beetroots left within a 10km radius.
If someone tells you to "lighten up", do not reply "make me". Unless you want to be woken at 3am by 4 spotlights shining into your tent.
Circus freaks do not make good show and tell guests. Especially when you're a teacher, not a student, and the freaks rock up to class wearing t-shirts that read, "I was born smart, but education ruined me."
Week 4...
If, whilst you are grocery shopping in town, you see 6 freaks flash past on a ride on mower that looks an awful lot like your own - It probably is.
It is also probably best to walk very quickly in the opposite direction.
When your children call to you, "Mum! Quick! Freaky Uncle has four fingers stuck up his nose!"... They are probably not lying.
Especially if Freaky Uncle was last seen with the super glue.
A freak attempting to contort herself into a kitchen cupboard because another freak says "I bet you can't fit in there any more".... Is probably not going to end well.
But it will probably be very entertaining.
Today...
We are home. We are adjusting. We are celebrating the joyous moments and allowing time for the crappy moments to pass.
I am under close observation by Miss J after getting into trouble for not taking small enough bites of my apple... "Baby can't swallow big bits mum! You'll choke him!"
Miss F has taken it upon herself to educate the world as to how babies are born. I just know the doctor was thrilled to learn that... "Baby is going to come out of mum's vagina, you know."
Miss V is refusing to eat watermelon after one of the freaks convinced her that Baby is actually a watermelon growing in my tummy - because I swallowed a pip and drank lots of water to make it grow.
Most importantly...
Thank you for the supportive comments and good vibes.
They are better than chocolate!
Change
Wow.
For the first time since I started blogging, I am sitting in front of the computer, wanting to write this post and struggling to find the words.
Maybe it is because the moments I am recalling are not all love light and bliss ones.
Maybe it is because I have cried for almost 48 hours straight and my brain is being squashed by my swollen face.
Maybe it is because I feel like I have left it too long, and now I'm not sure where to start.
Maybe it is because this blog is a place where I can control how much I show of myself - or more to the point, what I show of myself - and writing this post is a little outside of my comfort zone.
Maybe I am still in hiding, and I am struggling because writing this post makes it real.
Or maybe I am just talking shit in an attempt to avoid saying what I need to say.
Wow.
I am very good at procrastinating.
OK, how about a timeline? I can do a timeline.
Kewl.
Here goes...
So there it is. The time line.
Now we are going to take some time out to adjust to this change.
For the second time in as many months, we are going away to the beach.
See you all when we return.
For the first time since I started blogging, I am sitting in front of the computer, wanting to write this post and struggling to find the words.
Maybe it is because the moments I am recalling are not all love light and bliss ones.
Maybe it is because I have cried for almost 48 hours straight and my brain is being squashed by my swollen face.
Maybe it is because I feel like I have left it too long, and now I'm not sure where to start.
Maybe it is because this blog is a place where I can control how much I show of myself - or more to the point, what I show of myself - and writing this post is a little outside of my comfort zone.
Maybe I am still in hiding, and I am struggling because writing this post makes it real.
Or maybe I am just talking shit in an attempt to avoid saying what I need to say.
Wow.
I am very good at procrastinating.
OK, how about a timeline? I can do a timeline.
Kewl.
Here goes...
24 weeks ago -
My two dearest friends in the universe (M&M) made a baby embryo.
24 weeks ago -
Their baby embryo was transferred to my uterus.
I became pregnant with their child.
20 weeks ago -
We announced our pregnancy to close friends and family.
18 weeks ago -
We started a Baby Blog.
12 weeks ago -
We announced our pregnancy to the wider community.
8 weeks ago -
An ultrasound showed us Baby has a penis.
2 weeks ago -
Another ultrasound showed there was too much amniotic fluid in Baby's water bed.
2 weeks ago -
Baby was diagnosed with atypical Esophageal Atresia (this means his esophagus hasn't formed properly) and he also has a cyst in his throat.
These things are stopping him from swallowing amniotic fluid effectively.
1 week ago -
Amniocentesis results came back.
Baby has a genetic disorder called Cri-du-Chat syndrome.
What it will never, ever change, is how much Baby is loved.
My two dearest friends in the universe (M&M) made a baby embryo.
24 weeks ago -
Their baby embryo was transferred to my uterus.
I became pregnant with their child.
20 weeks ago -
We announced our pregnancy to close friends and family.
18 weeks ago -
We started a Baby Blog.
12 weeks ago -
We announced our pregnancy to the wider community.
8 weeks ago -
An ultrasound showed us Baby has a penis.
2 weeks ago -
Another ultrasound showed there was too much amniotic fluid in Baby's water bed.
2 weeks ago -
Baby was diagnosed with atypical Esophageal Atresia (this means his esophagus hasn't formed properly) and he also has a cyst in his throat.
These things are stopping him from swallowing amniotic fluid effectively.
1 week ago -
Amniocentesis results came back.
Baby has a genetic disorder called Cri-du-Chat syndrome.
This syndrome will change Baby's life.
It will change a lot of things.
What it will never, ever change, is how much Baby is loved.
So there it is. The time line.
Now we are going to take some time out to adjust to this change.
For the second time in as many months, we are going away to the beach.
See you all when we return.
Freak Fest - Lessons from Week 2
- Thirty something year old freaks are not above planting buckets of water on top of door frames.
- I am not above retaliation.
"Have a nice trip?"
"See you next fall!"
"See you next fall!"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
